Yes, you're a bully. Those people you mocked in middle school and high school didn't "take the joke".

And it's not their fault for not "taking a joke", because you were an asshole. It's not their fault for "not saying they were offended" either, because *you know it's not that easy.* You know shy introverts don't work like that.

Yes, that time when you called that quiet kid names, you were a bully. You still are. They remember.

YES, that time when you avoided the "weird kid" in school on purpose and made sure they saw it, you were not being "cool" and yes, the kid DID MIND IT. They didn't say anything, but they remember the fact that you felt so GROSSED OUT by them that you felt the NEED to move your chair as far away from them as you could, as if they had some very contagious disease. They're still self conscious about that.

Yes, that time when you mocked the quiet kid in your class about his clothes, his notebook, or whatever it was, it wasn't "just a joke". You and your friends were laughing, sure, and yes, maybe the awkward kid who only wanted to fit in with SOME group in class may have forced a laugh so he wouldn't seem "lame", but no, he isn't "cool with it".

No, that time when you and your friends told the quiet girl in your class that she was weird and ugly and no one liked her, you weren't being "savage", even if your friends laughed and clapped and congratulated you for "finally saying it" and called you a "queen". You hurt that quiet girl very hard, and she did nothing to deserve it, and she still remembers your exact words to this day. You're a bully, one of the worst kinds.

No, that time when you told that kid in class that he was weird and you said you were "just being honest" and "saying what the entire class is thinking", you weren't helping him. He still remembers it. He's self conscious about it now.

No, that time when you told the "weird girl" that you found her ugly or you found her "stupid for getting bad grades", you were not "saying the truth" or "being honest like a good person". You hurt her a lot. You don't know what's going on in her house, or why she has these bad grades. Maybe her cousin who she liked a lot got cancer, and she can't focus on studying because she cries at night. You don't know anything. So why do you assume you can speak to her like that?

Yes, when you called that "weird kid" in school very derogatory names just because they liked something you didn't, it wasn't "no big deal" or "just kids being kids". They are afraid of showing people what they like now.

No, when you mocked the weird kid in class about their notebook with the cutesy character on it, you weren't "saying what everyone else is thinking". He isn't doing anything wrong. It DOESN'T make him "less of a man". You made him feel like the most pathetic thing in the world, and he'll need therapy to get over you. Yes, you.

No, when you call the kid you bullied in school to apologize and they laugh about it, that doesn't mean they forgot. It means they're still afraid of talking about it and sounding "lame" for being emotional. They would rather laugh it off, like they always did.

Yes, your child is a bully for calling the quiet classmate of theirs all those names, and you defending them does not make you a good parent. It makes you the parent of a future shitty adult.

And last but not least, no, you bullying the weird kid won't "make them grow thick skin". They're kids. Not everyone is like you. Some people are sensitive, and it's not a crime or their fault. It doesn't excuse your actions.