Why the FUCK is it my job to be the one to have to check up on you and have to want to see you and remind you when important dates are and why can’t you be a fucking adult and be my dad oh my fucking god
Posted Jun 2, 2019 15:19 by anonymous
1245 views |
4 comments
Why the fuck do you try to guilt trip me into feeling bad because I never look for you or i never hit you up even though you’re my fucking dad that’s your job why do you guilt trip me and my sister into sitting in a garage with you on father’s day every year just so we watch you slowly get black out drunk then you say terrible things about my amazing mother when you’re the one who chose alcohol over family.
Why the fuck is it my job to remind you every single year when my birthday is and to remind you about important aspects of my life. Why do you act like you’re some victim when you know that this could’ve been prevented by being with the family that you wanted to start instead of the casino and bar every night.
Why the fuck do you blame my mother for all your problems. Why do you lie to your family in another country about how my mother ruined your life when it was you. Why the fuck man fuck
I love you and I can never hate you and you know this and try to take advantage of it. Why am I afraid to pick up phone calls from you because it reminds me to when I was little and every summer at night I had anxiety attacks because i didn’t want to see you yell at my mother or kick us out the house.
Why were my mom sister and I homeless for two weeks and my mom has to work 3 jobs to keep us in a moldy basement while we sat inside worried you were going to find us
Fuck
FUCK
FUCK WHY DUDE
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD LET YOU GO.
I LOVE YOU AND ILL NEVER BE ABLE TO STOP BUT THATS THE THING
AS MUCH AS I TRY TO REKINDLE AND LOVE YOU TO YOUR FACE AND TRY TO GIVE US A SOMEWHAt stable relationship YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO MESS IT UP SOMEHOW
I TRIED SO HARD
IVE TRIED MY ENTIRE LIFE TO GET YOU TO STOP DRINKING I CANT DO IT
ITS NOT MY FAULT. BUT I KNOW THAT THE DAY YOU PASS AWAY ILL BE GUILTY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE FOR NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH AND IT KILLS ME
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Commented Oct 25, 2019 03:47 by anonymous
I didn't know why I was so unhappy at the time. My drinking only made things worse. But it was how I coped with the misery I was in. Plus your mother wouldn't let me leave. She was unhappy too and in her own way added fuel to the destructive environment that was our "home". My drinking only got worse after y'all left. I was committing the slowest form of suicide I can think of. It took me years to get off that road. I'm doing a lot better now. I wish I could see my little girl again. Tell her how much I love her. I wonder if she can still feel me? I know I have a part of her with me. In a place that a part of me is missing.
Commented Jul 20, 2020 01:35 by anonymous
Read "out of the FOG"
Commented Feb 24, 2022 14:59 by anonymous
I remember these types of feelings.
It was hard to stop all contact with my family, but at a certain point... I knew there was nothing there positive for me ever again.
Save yourself. Nobody else will. Nobody.
Commented Mar 1, 2022 11:53 by anonymous
I had a hot-bodied, petite, sex, bi-polar FWB like that. I had to remind her when she worked, when I was picking her up to go out, when her kid was coming to visit so we'd go food shopping, when her bills were due (that one was all the time), even when her doctor appointments were. She missed one, and blamed me for weeks, I missed my appointment, it's your fault, I'm all fucked up in the head now, all you want me for is to fuck, you don't know how I do, etc..Hit a point where I'd had enough, and told her I can't and won't do this anymore one night at her apartment. She was getting ready for us to go out, put on her sexy, instant erection-causing sundress, and teasingly shaking her perfect ass at me, then started saying remind me of this, remind me of that, it's your job to do this and that, if I miss it's on you. I told her no, it isn't, and can't be anymore. Suddenly, the ass-shaking stopped, we weren't going anywhere that night, and sex was way off the table. I'd take no sex with her, hot body and all, to not have the responsibility of her life to remind her of everything.