My first child hood memory is my mom beating the living shit out of me, I took one of her cats and throwed the cat out window. My mom spendt all ur food money on a idiotic cat so we didn't have any money left. I dream many times of this incident, I was 6 years old, she screamed my name and said "you are just like your father, a fucking psychopath" she proceeded to kick me in the face while I was half unconscious on the floor. My then dad steps in and saves me.

I often went to school with black eyes for the beating I got at home. The other kids didn't only make fun of my ugly as shirt that I had all year, they also laughed when I told them my mom beat the shit out of me. I pinned down a older boy that day, sat on him so that only he's face was exposed. I hit him so many times in the face that I could not se him, it was to much blood. When a teacher pulled me of she screamed "O my god hes unconscious".

A couple of days go by and I live my life more normally, people started to be alittle bit more respect full to me. The police came to my school with child protection service, they asked me why I was so violent. I told them that he hit me in the face, this was not true, my mom hit me in the face, with the coffee cup that day.

Fast forward. I'm maybe 8 years old, my family has gone to hell, there is guns everywhere in the house, my mom and dad had developed a severe alcohol problem. My parents where fighting everyone, including each other and me, there were even blood on the walls, they gave up the cleaning. I went to school and a big guy in my class lured me outside of the school yard, there were some other kids there to. When we got there, they choose to take my face and shove it in some dog crap on the asphalt, I felt humiliated.

The day after I brought the boy that had lured me to a hole I had found in the ground, I had explored this hole and found out that what ever I throw in this muddy hole just sinks and disappears. This was my first try in life to attempt murder, I shoved the boy in the hole and run awey. Sadly hes father saw me go awey with him, he sad "Where is he"... I knew I had to show him, so I did. The boys hand was sticking up, he gasped for air. The father grabbed a big stick, the boy held on to it and got pulled free.

When I was about 11, my dad left, he got sick of my mom beating the living shit out of me. And I remember he told me "my boy, I'm so sorry. I'm not your dad, your mom had been lying to you." My world crashed. The trubbeled young boy was about to become a wretch...

At the age of 15 I was conicved in court for closer to 20 crimes, I robbed people for fun, stole cars, sold drugs, collected money. I was on my way to a hard life of crime. I came home high on coke after another fucked up day at school. My mom had a new man in her life, she had pulled her life together. She didn't beat me for like 4 months. She told me that I have to move "we dont want the police on the door every day, looking for you, your brothers and sisters are scared of you" I told her "we all know how that is, we have been scared of you ur hole life"... we had a full on fistfight, my step dad hit me in the back with a baseball bat, I stormed out and never came back.

When I was 18 I woke up in a prison cell. I had so much time to think, the only way to make this stop is to kill my self. I banged my head to the wall, the blood was pouring down in the cell. I fainted. I woke up in the prison psych cell, and for the first time talked to a psychologist. She was kind, she tried to help me but it was to late for me, I wanted out, this life was not for me.

When I turned 21, i thought to my self. Is this it? Is this what my life has in store for me? A life of crime and drugs? I memorized about all the bad things that happened to me. I found out that the bully in my life was my mom, and the past trauma was haunting me. I chose then and there to change my life.

I'm now 28... I have no contact with my mother, I have kids, I'm a married man, I go to school, I train mma, I have moved far awey from my home town. Yet no one in my life know's anything of my past life. I love it, my past still hurts, I think about it from time to time.

It's never to late to start fresh, your life is your life. No one has the right to choose how you live! A happy life starts with a happy home, if your a parent that cant take care of your child, give that child to someone who can. If your a child in this kind of situation, go to the police and report the family member that abuses you. It's better to live healthy alone then miserable with family.