I’m not gonna be super specific since this story stands out. Also I’m not good at writing, so whoever decides to comment pls critique if it’s confusing, I’ll try to clear it up.


One night I decided I wanted to try and harm myself again. I snuck some medicine from my parents like I always did if I wanted to do something to myself.

Keep in mind that I had family over, like 5 relatives. I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to do it when family was over, i was just super depressed at that moment and didn’t think about the repercussions.

While I took the pills I was also talking to one of my friends, they’ve always done stupid stuff and earlier they mentioned that they almost pulled the trigger on themselves because they thought of suicide. It did worry me a bit because they’ve always were the one to actually take action if they have enough courage.

Once the pills started to kick in I was going crazy. The side effects were nausea, hallucinations and many others that messed with your brain. My friend stopped texting me further down midnight and it made me panic, “what if they killed themselves?” And “did I kill them?”
(The last time I texted them we got into a little argument that night) so I started panicking and tried to reach them by calling them and texting them, they never answered. So I started to work enough courage to tell someone, anyone to go and help them (I actually believed they killed themselves) but I also kept fighting with myself to not do it since my rational side was saying “no you’re overthinking, you’ll make this an even bigger mess than this already is.” I ended up getting my mom involved, once my mom saw me she knew something was up. She asked me “what did you take?” I kept on insisting that we go see if my friend was okay, she told me “no I don’t care about them, you’re my priority first.” I was torn. She ended up telling me to go to bed and that I’m gonna have to go on the family trip tomorrow since she couldn’t leave me at the house alone.

During my whole sleeping experience I was wide awake and it felt like my brain was on autopilot. It honestly felt like I was going crazy and I had multiple personalities disorder. I never slept that night and distinctly remembering the sun rising through my blinds, I was thinking “how am I gonna get through today?”

My mother came in and told me to get ready, I tried getting myself out of that situation but she insisted, I felt like I had no other options so I went. The whole time I went I felt like everyone could tell something was wrong with me, that I was obviously on something. I wanted to scream, cry and run home to safety.


I’m gonna leave it here. I hoped you enjoyed my painful situation I brought myself into. It was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done in my life and I fully regret it. Ive hurt a lot of people doing this and remembering what happend that day makes me rethink a lot of decisions. It’s never worth it.