I still check on you. I still think about you everyday. It’s like addiction almost. It’s been 4 years but nothing has changed about the way I feel. I don’t even want to love you romantically anymore. I just miss you. The way I imagine our relationship is probably the opposite of how you view it. We used to just to talk from time to time, friendly but empty conversation. I know you just talked to me out of pity but a part of me wants to think you wanted to talk to me too. It’s fascinating how I can have so many feelings for you still when you gave me all the reasons to move on. I would have thought that I have by now. But it feels like the void in my heart just got bigger. Is it selfish to keep reaching for you? Are my feelings genuine or am I just searching for something familiar? Oh well. Hopefully I can make peace that this will probably haunt me for the rest of my life.