Today I found out that my 7 year old son has a 3 year old half brother
Posted Jul 11, 2019 15:21 by anonymous
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4 comments
First off, please excuse all of the terrible grammar errors because all I can really do right now is word vomit and hope it makes sense.
I am a proud mother of a wonderful little 7 year old boy. He surprises me every single day. Soon he’s going to be racing dirt bikes, he’s incredibly talented, smart and fearless! He actually inspires ME everyday to push myself and make myself better!
His biological father and I shared a wonderful and not so wonderful relationship together. I’m not going to jump on the ex train of “HES HORRIBLE” HES A MONSTER” without first addressing that I did love him more than anything at one point... he was my life.... and I was so excited to start our family.
Through the years I started to learn that he was cheating on me, I learned through those years he developed a heroin addiction. (He’s so damn charming and charismatic that he could convince you a watermelon is a apple) As I tried my hardest to salvage our relationship he began to start becoming very abusive, physically, mentally, emotionally... I think he treated me specifically this way because I “exposed” his secrets and it was guilt and embarrassment... either way it was very painful. We split up. I moved on with the hopes that we could continue to have some form of a relationship for the sake of our child: that wasn’t so.
Fast forward. I’ve been raising our little guy. He’s getting bigger and really starting to figure things out. I always left the door open for his father because I never wanted to keep that relationship from him. Well that door unfortunately just stayed open. Our little dude is 7 now. At this point I’m not sure if he’s dead, in jail, moved across country. Nothing. I accepted this. It was almost easier that way.
Today I find out he’s not dead, he’s not across the country, he’s not sitting in a jail cell, he’s doing great. He has a wife (one of the girls he cheated on me with.) a great job, and a soon to be 3 year old son.
As soon as I found that information out I couldn’t even be happy for him. I couldn’t get our child out of my mind. I couldn’t feel anything but the good ol how dare you and kindly fuck you. I am a very empathetic person. I try and try to not be that way but I am. The thought of my son finding out, and wondering why does he love him but not me? Makes me sick to my stomach.
All I’ve done is cry. I can’t stop thinking about it. I wish I never found out.
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Commented Oct 26, 2019 15:29 by anonymous
You are OK to have all these feeligns, even to feel the feelings and judgments you have are OK or Not OK. Regardless, You are OK.
Sometimes things don't make sense until they do, and your attitude is nothing to be proud of until it is.
No need to add negative self judgment to the mix.
Give it time, and remember, even if you don't feel that way yet, everybody deserves forgiveness and love, yet only the repentant who have proven they are committed to change deserve to be considered to be on the road towards renewed trust.
Commented Jan 3, 2020 04:21 by anonymous
you should concentrate on being happy with your son, and stop worrying about his family. Otherwise it will drag you down and you won’t make it……..
Commented Jan 3, 2020 05:31 by anonymous
Most men have half kids some don't know about it especially if they fucked alot of prostitutes
Commented Nov 3, 2022 06:31 by anonymous
Honestly the pain of finding out your dad has another family as a child is a real mind fuck…..I’m 19 now but I guess as a child I always knew he had another family. My mum tried to hide it from me but I heard what other adults and family members were saying behind her back, it wasn’t until I was 7 did I actually acknowledge that I had older half sisters(1 being born a year before me). It’s was really heartbreaking. I used to think it wasn’t fair that they got to spend all their time with our dad and yet I couldn’t even get a simple phone call on my birthday…. It also didn’t help with the fact that I knew the only reason he called was so he could get a booty call from my mother.
People gave my mum so much shit for not following our cultural customs and having me out of wedlock to a married man that I used imagine that if I died people wouldn’t be so hard on my mum anymore. I’ve never told my mum that I thought of dying as child cause I know that would break her heart but for me just knowing that my dad had another family he was more committed to made me wish I was never born.
Now that I’m older ive been told more details about how things went down with my mum being fresh out of highschool and my dad already in his thirties and married to him continuously stepping out on his wife and not being able to handle consequences(me) even though his wife made an effort to help my mum with my needs when I was younger.
When I think of it now, my dad was/is a coward who can’t face his wrongdoings and that’s why he’s always avoided bringing me to meet my siblings and getting to know my family and heritage on his side. It’s embarrassing cause I swear every Tongan in Auckland either knows him or has heard of him and his scammer ways, always stealing peoples money and avoiding taxes.
In conclusion I understand your feelings of not wanting your child to feel like they werent good enough, but I think that whether they find out now or later they will still feel that way once they know the truth. One thing I ask is that they find out from you and not others cause that can cause damage that you might not see…. And when you do tell them just be there with them as they process what you’ve said no matter how long it takes cause even now that I’m legally an adult I still feel the rejection of my dad not being there