Not the whole VA itself but the god complex a\*\*holes who demeaned my mother. The emergency room staff and doctors who insinuated she was a druggy, a wh\*re, an alcoholic, and attention seeker and a liar for months. With NO history of there ever being such behavior. The doctors who didn't follow cancer protocols and do the 6 month body scan after her breast cancer double mastectomy. Who didn't listen to her and brushed her off as all of the things above. Who even after they found the cancer spreading through her stomach and intestines, and found her body days away from starvation because of the ring that surrounded her stomach and stopped her being able to eat properly for months, treated her as if she was a burden and being dramatic that she was DYING and in pain! It took them almost a MONTH to give her a plan after telling her the cancer had grown quickly without intervention and she likely had 2 months max without treatment. They only found this after being threatened to be sued because our mother was dying in front of our eyes and they wouldn't do anything. THIS is why I hate going to the doctors. It has been like this my entire life with my family members. And this further proves we are correct in doing so. We never go unless we literally can't bear it anymore. They killed my mother and now I have to read through their disgusting so called "notes" so I can get her information so my other family members can get checked as well. I have to read the disgusting and compassionate-less way they talked about my mother during her stays at the hospital before she died. They killed an amazing soul with their callousness and disregard. A woman who would give you the clothes off her back in a heart beat if you needed it. They took away so much from our family and our futures. They told us that if they had "caught it earlier" she would have had years if not have gotten it into remission! YEARS!! But because of their neglect and indifference she was never given the chance to. I want them to know what they caused. I want them to understand what they did to our family. I want them to be better. DO better. The cancer may have been the blade, but they were the one swinging it. Maybe its just my grief and pain causing me to to feel this way, I still blame them for taking away so much time we could have had with her. For her to meet my future children and spoil them the way she promised she would. They took so much love from this world earlier than it should have left and that is unforgivable to me. We now have to struggle with the thoughts of not being / doing enough to get them to listen. And we shouldn't have to. How can I ever get past this? It hurts so much. I lost the person who saved me from abuse and pain. I lost my mentor and the person I know would love me unconditionally, because of them sooner than I had ever thought.

I just needed to get it out to the world and didn't know where to go.