The pastor of my church propositioned me for a sex act for money so I could keep our bills paid. Instead he sexually assaulted me.
Posted Oct 7, 2018 00:42 by anonymous
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17 comments
This has been on my mind for a few days now. Ever since it happened, I feel so low and ashamed of myself. I keep replaying the events in my head and I just feel so disgusted with myself.
Things have been rough for me and my daughter. I lost my job a few months ago. We struggled. We went to a food bank and they gave us moldy/rotten food. I cut out every unnecessary expense,I took temporary jobs scrubbing toilets picking up dead wildlife. Any type of job that would pay me so I could keep the rent paid and lights on. While I was waiting to be approved for government assistance, I started going to a church. It was great at first. They gave us food, bought diapers for my daughter, paid a portion of my rent. I was so thankful for them. They were literally saving my life because at that point I was so low and down I was contemplating killing myself and giving my daughter away to her sperm donor's family because I felt like I truly couldn't provide for her. It felt like I finally had a sense of community and belonging.
The pastor to this church was very friendly and charismatic. I didn't think he could be so evil. It's my fault too, because I should have said no. I should have turned him down. But he knew my struggles. He knew how much I was stressing and how awful I felt. My lights are in danger of being shut off and if social services gets wind of that it's very possible my daughter can/will be taken away from me (which will push me over the edge) I was starting to have suicidal thoughts again.
He propositioned me for a blowjob. He claimed he hadn't had any sexual relations with a women in years. I was so desperate for some help I just said yes. But he didn't stop when I told him no. He called me a dirty bitch and raped me. I have bruises on my throat and chest from where he held me down. He scratched my thighs and stomach. He made me feel like the shit on the bottom of his shoe. I feel like I can't scrub him off my skin hard enough. I am just thankful my daughter was nowhere around when he did what he did to me.
I can't face going back to that church tomorrow. I can't face him. I'm crying while writing this because I had hope for once in the past really tough months and now I have no goddamn clue what to do. I should have said no. I should have walked away. But I didn't and now I've fucked both me and my child over. I just want this all to be over
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Commented Oct 7, 2018 00:58 by anonymous
Get a gun and blow his fucking fick off.
Commented Oct 7, 2018 01:06 by anonymous
Wait first you said yes, the. You said no. What are you bipolar. You leach off the generosity of the government and the church then sit here bitching about it. You you had been a better wife the “sperm donor” would still be supporting you
Commented Oct 7, 2018 01:52 by anonymous
Sorry that you went through the trauma. People of the church are just as evil as the wicked people in the street. I have no words that could comfort you, but continue to pray, have faith in yourself, believe in GOD and continue to strive forward for both you and your daughter.
Also, no matter how low things go, never allow suicide to linger in your mind or thoughts for more than 30 seconds. When the thought of suicide pops up in your mind, replace it immediately with a biblical verse, 14th Chapter of John that reads, Jesus said, LET NOT YOUR HEART BE TROUBLED, IF YE (you) BELIEVE IN GOD BELIEVE ALSO IN ME.......it continues on, but this verse has comforted me and prevented me from committing atrocious acts of violence in the past and hopefully comfort you somehow.
Look at all the post regarding suicide on this website. It will greatly affect your daughter in the future, so ALWAYS put it out of your mind.
Can I ask you how old you and your daughter are, your race and state and city you reside in?
I will speak of you in my prayers tonight.
Commented Oct 7, 2018 01:53 by anonymous
be strong. There will be assholes here who will also try and tear your spirit down.....
Commented Oct 7, 2018 01:54 by anonymous
I would be careful about the claims i made against Gods man .
Commented Oct 7, 2018 08:07 by anonymous
“I would be careful about the claims i made against Gods man .”
Oh really???
I can tell you about 20 different incidents involving pastors, priests and other clergy.
Believe what you want, but there are pimps in the pulpit, child predators leading churches, atheist heading churches and bonofide con men smiling at you.
Commented Oct 7, 2018 08:19 by anonymous
It was wrong of him to assault you like that but you must note that you are just as guilty as he is. What if he wanted your daughter instead you would have let him for money before you lose her to CPS wouldnt you? Be honest
Commented Oct 7, 2018 08:27 by anonymous
How old is your daughter and has she ever seen you having sex before
Commented Oct 7, 2018 08:29 by anonymous
“I would be careful about the claims i made against Gods man .”
You the Preacher ? Do not for 1 minute believe the Preacher was God's Man. He Is a POS Lowlife
Commented Oct 7, 2018 09:28 by anonymous
“You the Preacher ? Do not for 1 minute believe the Preacher was God's Man. He Is a POS Lowlife
”
Preachers are not without their own tribulations for there was only ONE perfect man and pefection should not be expected of the men that are called on to spread the gospel but hope he can lead his flock in a way approving of The Lord and practice restraint and well as preach it
Commented Oct 7, 2018 09:34 by anonymous
go to the police to report his ass
Commented Oct 7, 2018 09:40 by anonymous
None of that wouldve happened if u refused the first time, so whose fault is it ? You wont get a pity party here
Commented Oct 7, 2018 11:28 by anonymous
You agree to give him a blowjob, basically for money. Whore.
You drive there, and do the deed. For money. Whore.
Then-how exactly did your clothes come off, with out being torn off? No rape occurred, just rough sex-and NOW you cry foul?
You wilfully took your clothes off. For money. Whore.
Face it; you are a whore, who got rough-fucked-not raped.
Same old, same old-women won't ever accept any blame or shame.
Commented Oct 7, 2018 11:31 by anonymous
^^^ before you bash me, I don't get rough... but you feel guilty about putting out for money, and rough sex...but you definitely wanted sex-for money.
Can't have it both ways.
Commented May 11, 2019 19:49 by anonymous
Stfu u took dat dick a d wanna complain after??? You should've said something before or during. If I was him 8 would've taken the easy fuck too. You have no 9ne yo blame except yourself. Either press charges or make him pay , you dirty whore.
Commented May 11, 2019 19:50 by anonymous
Stfu u took dat dick a d wanna complain after??? You should've said something before or during. If I was him 8 would've taken the easy fuck too. You have no 9ne yo blame except yourself. Either press charges or make him pay , you dirty whore.
Commented May 11, 2019 19:52 by anonymous
“It was wrong of him to assault you like that but you must note that you are just as guilty as he is. What if he wanted your daughter instead you would have let him for money before you lose her to CPS wouldnt you? Be honest”
She would've a d been right there encouraging her to take that dick. Hoes should just be honest if he bought da pussy jus take the w afterall u got the money.