I was born and raised in church. Got really serious with my faith about 10 years ago, and now I don't know where I am. I'm losing my grip on everything around me it seems and I just feel lost, hopeless and abandoned. My wife is growing cold. I've tried for years to be a better person and a better man and my prayers just seem to fall to the ground with no real change happening. I have to wonder what I'm even trying for at this point. I'm at the point where I'm ready to just say fuck it and not care anymore. Not care about faith, marriage, or anything and just worry about myself and what makes me happy because no matter how hard a try, I'm not changing. No matter what I do, I can't seem to improve myself. So forget it I guess. I'm just going to say goodbye to everything I used to focus on and just worry about what makes me happy from now on.