It’s been almost two years on a roller coaster ride with depression. I’ve been hospitalized countless times due to suicidal ideations. I am a cutter. My legs have many scars and as of a few months ago I have a big scar on my arm. It was so deep I had to get stitches. I’m currently also dealing with hearing voices. Voices that tell me over and over again to kill myself. Ive been on too many medications to count. I’ve had IV Ketamine and ECT. Nothing has worked and thanks to ECT I have trouble remembering things. My short term memory has gone to shit. Due to all of this, I’m only working about an hour a day. The depression has also put us in a financial strain. And as much as my husband tries to help I’m still a mess. I’m currently trying a new treatment, TMS. I’m working with a new psychiatrist and he has been awesome. Everyone there seems to genuinely care about the patients. But it is so frustrating going through this for so long. Thanks for listening.