I spent a large part of my life sticking stuff in my veins, up my nose and long story short entered community rehab in 2002, left a clean man. I never took meth again but continued taking acid and shrooms regularly.

Eventually heavy use of tripping ended in a mind shattering experience and now ten years later I smoke and drink maybe twice a year. Neither do anything for me expect make me feel crap.

So ten years clean of all drugs, 15 clean of meth. But I still think about it all daily.

I get up, I go to work, I come home, I look after the kids, I collapse at 9pm. I watch television for a few hours.. I go to bed. Rinse and repeat until my soul is none existent

I have a girlfriend I love to bits, love my kids to bits. But I just feel so much soul crushing normality, even after all these years...I miss tripping I miss being crazy and wild.

I know I can never go back to that life and it just makes me feel depressed.. on the rare occasions I go out drinking I feel so bored. Nothing equals my crazy times and I find it hard to accept it's gone..