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No matter how depressed, sad and unhappy I am, even knowing it will never change, I will never accept this outcome, I will never give up.

Posted Jun 5, 2019 07:08 by anonymous
243 views | 1 comments

  • Commented Apr 2, 2021 02:31 by anonymous

    Hey MP I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, NOT HARD TO READ I BELIEVE THAT YOU MAY HAVE YOUR PERSPECTIVES IN A NEGATIVE ASPECT AND TO NOT TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY FOR ALLOWING ANOTHER PERSON TO HELP YOU IN A POSITIVE ASPECT IF YOU THINK DEPRESSED PEOPLE ONLY THINK ABOUT THEIR SUFFERINGS AND and dismiss others then perhaps your viewpoint can be kind of skewed by your own thoughts feelings and opinions to which you have only kept to yourself and you do not speak to others the key is communication however it's the communication between you and the other person not to let certain people or outside influences to come into or between the communication that you have with certain people also there are people out there that are depressed that don't say anything or don't say how bad anything is for fear of judgment burden not taken seriously and feels like everybody else has their own problems why give them yours there are things in people's lives that we do not know about so we should not have preconceptions of what people can or cannot do however it takes a true strong person to get out of their storm to go and check up on you regardless of how you treated them or what you've done to them they have loved you for who you truly are and they have felt unconditional love and want and like and hope and pray one day that you do too for it seems like you may have conditions which is a present day mainstream societal concept put on us because we are a fast-paced society now with technology we don't have time to spend we got to go go go get the next thing fast fast fast if nobody meets our standards you check them to the side however we all have flaws we all have faults and sometimes when a couple is together for long. A Time they will go through trials and tribulations and tests what makes or breaks them is how strong is a couple is if you bring a negativity and the other person brings in positivity then yes there is a clash but is it intently negative are you doing it on purpose to sabotage yourself are you saying that your life is messed up and that you're not giving up are there deep dark secrets that you aren't telling anyone those are the questions that you need to ask yourself what am I bringing in to the relationship what kind of energy do I take responsible for you may try to meditate but did you go to anyone especially a spouse if you have one to ask for help have you ever asked for help. Generally speaking those that are in love will help their partner and not abandon or leave no matter the circumstances it is you that has to take responsibility for the energy you put in the space of your life if you bring in negativity you're going to get negativity that's like saying if you say I'm going to have a bad day today you're going to end up having a bad day today if your other partner brings in positivity and tries to do things to help and they are really trying to do things that help even though they struggle themselves don't you think that person is strong enough to handle both and don't you think that person would think that you are good enough you are worth something you are a person of special importance to them. However understanding what your letter says you are looking for younger to have sex with versatile whatever you want to leave your boyfriend and for the next 5 years just have sex even though you know you're going to be empty and unhappy in actuality there's deep dark secrets that I'm sure that you hide in your closet that will make you unhappy or you are doing things or around people or influences that make you unhappy to bring the unhappiness home like a job like a circle of friends if you have to be ashamed of who you are if you have to hide if you have to be online and be a different person and hide then you're not being your true authentic self only tapping into that will make you happy I am me I am what I am you accept me for me I hope that you would love me unconditionally now years ago I would have said yeah my love has conditions but I have experience a lot of things since 2017 that were a life and death matter then during recovery I was pushed away and left alone however I still tried to connect then in order to recover from the depression I had the problems I had from the life or death situation I had to go to other types of medications that did not work and that made things worse I constantly reported it and I was being basically thrown to the side you can say destabilized on purpose and come to find out the place that I was going to does that since then I have left that place then I find out there's infidelity and not just infidelity but there's so much more however with everything that this person has given me from day one that has been and a negative or bad light I have always looked past I have never gotten him in trouble and I will always love him I will always forgive him even though I'm being tested right now the only thing that I have ever asked is to be loved well to love someone and to be loved in return and then to have the same respect of consideration that I do for others I'm not perfect I have weaknesses I don't give up either but if someone can't talk to me and tell me the truth or can't communicate what is going on then there's no fixing the problem it just piles under the rug and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger until it explodes however does this person want it like that or does it not want it like that if you can't go to your partner in any manner in any subject or topic then it's time that you need to reevaluate yourself not them and not where you stand in the relationship because people can work on anything they want to it's willpower brain power people are just fine with the status quo if I don't like something I change it if something needs worked on I try my best to work on it if I have something bothering me I communicate and I would like somebody to actually listen to my problem and help me solve it if I can't solve it on my own but nine times out of 10 I can't solve it on in my own I have taken so much and the end result still ended up being the same for me but I guess I was too old too fat had too many health problems that was a burden was financially a burden which by the way my ex doesn't tell the whole story or the truth my ex tells what he wants to tell people and what they want to know what he wants them to know so at any point in time he can lie people don't know our financial situation people don't know what happened day in and day out they didn't live here people don't know how it was there were certain things that I was told to do by my counselors and I would do them and my partner would get upset at me anything that I did to help myself to get out of my depression my partner would get mad and tell me that I'm ruining things or making a mess or doing this or doing that but what I think it was was that he was jealous that he was still negative and unhappy and I was trying to find ways to be happy however he is an adult too he could have joined me he could have came to me and said hey can I can I do that with you or could have come to me and said hey will you help me do this for me I don't have a problem helping anyone I would give my shirt off my back I don't judge anything anyone or anything the only way I judge is how you treat me but you know I can also see that you know you like. My letter isn't coded it is what it is word for word so there's no hidden meaning behind it. If I have something to say I say it I don't hide it I'm sorry this is long I hope you get something out of it maybe one day you'll read this and you'll read all of it and it will click. Good luck and I hope you find happiness within yourself not with others. AB


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