I don't love her, and if I did it would be about 10%. Everyone in public says she the nicest lady they've ever met, but she is a completely different person in private. Never in my 20 years of life have I ever met such a person so fine with putting you down so much. I could be gaming with my friends and I would immediately mute my mic and get in a bad mood because I know shes gonna talk shit about how I live my life. I don't love her, and I hope she gets the memo. I just want to move away with my siblings, and my dad to get away from this toxic person. My dad has slowly opened up to me, and told me he can't take much more of her angry outbursts. Neither can I. I would love it if she just \*poof\* disappeared of the face of the earth. My family would be better of without her. I don't love her no matter how many times I tell her I do. And, just last week for some reason she asked if I was depressed or suicidal. I would LOVE to tell her that your the only reason I am scared to do anything by myself since she always had me depend o her growing up, and never let me make my own decisions. I am 185lbs of man who is overweight and is to scared to stand up to her because she's belittled me so much for my entire life. I to scared to even go out without her questioning me, and knitpicking every thing I do. She's just some chick who got pregnant in highschool, got a diploma, and neer went to college. But, now she thinks she knows better than me??? I don't love her, this phrase is constantly going through my head whenever we talk, and I really don't know how much I can live in this lovely household with such a disgusting toxic person. I really just wanna disappear myself, but I don't want to leave my lovely family behind. I love them to much to have her belittle them, and beat them "out of love" like she did to me my whole life. Ex. today I couldn't find any cup noodles in the closet the other day, and she finds one and throws it at me calling me a dumbass, and how useless me and my father are. All she does is work parttime in a nursery, and me and my dad work so that we can pay our bills, and when I try to relax from a stressful day of work, she tells me I shouldn't be tired because I did nothing all day. Shes always "mentally" tired but that's from being angry as usual. Yet my muscles are sore, and im mentally tired from trying to help people. She doesn't know what I grow through because she deals with plants. I don't love her. I always tell her with a smile I love her, but in reality I don't. I really don't. she always expects me to stop and talk to her, I don't want to but If I don't she'll try to find a way to bring it up some other time with family making ME look like the bad person. I DONT LOVE HER. I DONT LOVE HER. I DONT LOVE HER. I love my little brother and sister with all my heart, I love my dad as well, I love my dog, fishes, and birds. But, I don't love my mom. Thanks for listening to me.