I (15f) have had a crush on a guy (15-16) since the beginning of my second semester during my freshman year. He is smart, funny, and so friendly toward everyone. I realized I actually had feelings for him on the last day of my 9th-grade year. We were playing card games and he joined in and sat next to me. We didn't talk but I had a lot of fun. Then summer came around and I thought about him constantly. I've liked guys before but this time just felt different.

School started 3 weeks ago and I was put into a class with him. I was honestly very happy. And even better, he sits a few seats away from me. It was great for the first week, but now I feel miserable. I have an anxiety disorder (selective mutism) and it's stopping me from having any sort of relationship with him or anyone for that matter. I want nothing more than to be able to talk to him and build a friendship or something but I know I'll never be able to. I feel as though he sees me as the weird girl who doesn't talk to anyone. It's just not fair. I've constantly thought about giving him a paper that says how I feel towards him but he'd probably think it's creepy since he doesn't know me very well. I have no one to tell this to. If I told any of my friends they'd act like it's "just another crush" but it means so much more than that to me. I'm so tired of being upset over it all the time but I really don't want to move on. I don't know what to do.