my mom and dad have been together for 20 years, and for the past 20 years he has been emotionally abusive. belittling her, mocking her, making her feel awful. it’s gone through cycles, and he always targets her and I whenever he gets mad. he’s never hit us or done anything physically abusive, he’s been practically just an asshole.

i’m 19, and soon will be transferring to a university hopefully when my parents move this june. he came in the house after a seemingly okay afternoon and told me that once he moves this summer, i’m going to be “in trouble.” i don’t even know where this came from, but it deeply upset me because i’m already stressing about my application. then, of course, i learned it was because my mom drank and lied about it. my mom is an alcoholic. mostly because she has to deal with my dad every day. more and more i find her drunk when i come home from school, and recently she’s starting to have horrible memory problems because of it.

i told him that he is probably the reason she drinks in the heat of the moment, and that she is probably going to drink herself to death, so he should be supportive and try to help her get sober instead of making her feel like shit all the time. of course, he had to go back to taunting her, saying “are you gonna kill yourself, [mom’s name]?” completely missing the point. i suggested that she goes to the doctors, and he said that “they’ll have no help for drunks like her.” i don’t know why i even bothered pleading with him.

my dad being in my mom’s life, being completely unsupportive and almost encouraging her habits is going to be the death of her, but i don’t think he either notices nor cares. i can’t live around them anymore, but i have nowhere to go until this fall. i’m miserable. i dread being home more and more, but most of all, i hate seeing my mom being treated like this year after year, but i don’t think i can do anything for her to keep her safe from my dad.