nothing makes me feel more suicidal than not having enough money to pay my bills. I’m so behind on everything right now, and I live really far away from my job so every day I have to get gas that’s like $30 so I just feel like I am stuck in this fucking shitty loop of working constantly and then barely making enough but still needing to go to work to keep up with the fact that I didn’t make enough the day before and I am trying so hard to save to be able to move closer to my job but how the fuck can I do that when I don’t even have enough to pay my bills??? I’m feeling so much pressure to start selling nudes online but I already tried that once before and I’m literally ugly so nobody wants anything from me and it just feels demoralizing but I don’t know what to do. I can’t get a different job closer to home and I can’t get any loans or credit cards because my credit is so awful. I seriously am just completely ready to die. Nothing feels worth it anymore. Why is the world like this