I regret all of those episodes I had where I would freak the fuck out and cry and scream in my room because I just felt so aggravated with life after so much pent up anger I’d hide from everyone. Why I have no friends or social life or motivation. Looking back I embarrassed myself. I cut my arms up and now I look like a fucking idiot. I would blame shit like social media, people not appreciating me, my hometown, my peers; everything was a scapegoat as to why I’m so lonely. And nothing’s changed by the way, I’m still dealing with all this shit. But one thing did change. I had to take a look at the one thing that was left that I was so afraid of feeling humiliated if I did: myself. I’m just gonna chalk all this up to me being edgy, because I admit I enjoy dark themed shows/movies/anime, I listen to cringy emo music, and I do draw gore and demons and other twisted shit all the time. I’m just gonna go with all this being a result of my fucked personality. Those interests are all a guilty pleasure. I’m well aware of how cringe-worthy they are and how I’m basically a born-again 2007 goth dipshit. Sorry for rambling, I just had to get this off my chest because I need to have some self awareness at some point