My husband is dealing with depression, and has been for our entire relationship. My roommate, his girlfriend/my friend, my best childhood friend, brother-in-law and his girlfriend/my friend, college friends - everyone is depressed, has anger issues, is irritable. It feels like more than half of the time we are together, it's one group therapy session. I have my own issues, it's true, and sometimes I need help or people to be sensitive with me. But not to the level that it seems everyone around me has. I have learned through this how to be more supportive and accepting, how to forgive when it's an illness or trauma taking over - but I am so tired. I just want to have a nice morning, a nice weekend. I want to be able to sip a glass of wine and play a board game. I want to be able to ask my husband for help in the morning without his pre-coffee apocalyptic attitude. I want a Sunday evening around the fireplace where we don't sit in silence broken up by burdened sighs and discussions on how much we miss the innocence of our youth. I don't want any more parties with vague references to the abuse we've suffered or the stress we are under, or where I need to be worried about whether this person is just tired, on the verge of a breakdown, or enjoying silence off in his own corner.

I don't know what I can do, other than what I've been doing - listen, be understanding, offer a place for people to be honest and comfortable - and I have no one to turn to because all of these friends of mine are affected by some sort of darkness. I get my "me" time when I can, a half hour in the morning and here or there. But I just can't be the only one that is happy and positive anymore. I can't live my life under a raincloud.