I'm so ashamed to admit this but I have no friends anymore. I've been in a 4 year relationship with my boyfriend who has schizophrenia. I spend all day everyday ( when I'm not working) alone in the apartment while he games with his friends which he says "prevents hallucinations and detachments" . Hes constantly high and leaves all housework to me. He is emotionally abusive at times, screams a lot and has been violent towards me more than a few times. I have no family around bc pandemic lockdown and even then I'm not sure they are much better than him... I honestly feel at breaking point and have to tell myself maybe some people would be sad if I died and I wouldnt want that. I'm sick of being left alone to cry when when I first met this man he used to be by my side through anything then changed out of no where after a year. I feel hopeless. I have no idea how anything will get better.