I have a lot to say so please fasten your seatbelts, folks.

It's my current internal conflict as a man who will turn 28 in June. I've been single all my life, and I'm quite accustomed to being the captain of my own ship, whenever I'm not fulfilling military reserve responsibilities or not at work. I try to exercise 40-60 minutes a day but otherwise I'm fulfilling my passion for gaming. I like the adventure, the challenge, an existence more fantastical than my own.

I live with my parents and go to work. My parents, other than church or if they need help, otherwise let me do what I want because I'm an adult.

I'm aware that I'm in the prime time to find someone and marry and have kids. It's a long term plan for me,and something my mom presses on me a lot (she reminds me that I'm quite the catch!) I know that one day my parents won't be here, and I don't want to be alone.

I've tried some dating but I keep running into the same issue: the woman wants to change me to what she wants for a man. One example was a first and only date where I got told games are for boys and I should "man up" and that I shouldn't listen to hard rock/metal because "it's the devil's music". I endured that long enough to be the gentleman and pay for the meal, but I didn't so much as talk to her again. I tried distance dating through a mutual online game, but she wanted me to move three states away to her because she doesn't like the south. We ended up breaking up because she had serious trust issues and that drove me away. Last one we didn't really match ideologically and she wanted to live in a big city, and I don't like cities. I knew we'd argue over that and one would win and we other be bitter. All in all they tried to force things on me because they thought they got something on me by being a woman.

These experiences tell me to reconsider myself and the people I attract, but being an introvert I don't really have many choices because I don't have vast social networks of acquaintances and stuff. Personally I believe I need to wait a bit more,but on the same token idk if I can ever be ok with letting large parts of myself be changed or suppressed by the desires of someone else. I don't know if someone's out there who can give me some say in my life and the space I sometimes need. I mean I have no issues spending a bit less time in a game to do couple stuff (big plus if it's something I can geek out about), and when we have our own personal time, I'm fine with a woman going out with friends as long as she's faithful and she can even bring ppl over to hangout as long as they don't bother me or trash the place.

I know I'm kinda all over the place now,but I just don't know what or how or when or anything for solving this problem because I don't want to be alone, but I have to have some independence too. And I don't want to live in a city.

Maybe I'm just not ready right now. I do know my parents are getting anxious about me getting married and having kids soon. They want more grandkids. Not sure how to tell them I'm not ready or even why I'm not ready. I think they know what the holdup is but I'm not sure.

Hate to leave this hanging here but that's all I got.

[End rant]