So i couldn't get enough point for only university i ever wanted even though i worked my ass off for ONE WHOLE YEAR because of rigged and broken system in my fucking country. Now either i'll work 1 more year (which i won't do because i dont have heart or brain cells left to do) or i'll go to much worse university unwillingly. It's not about university only, even though it gives me suicidal thoughts more than anything in my life.

I tried to date with one girl which we dated for around 20 days till she dumped me with another guy. After 5 months later i asked another girl out which she didn't even answer that question.

After all of these and other shits i immediately deleted Whatsapp and opened airplane mode so no one can contact with me because i cant fucking stand people any longer. Thanks to my brain all i can think now suicide and all i can feel is anger.

There's nothing I enjoy that much I let these feelings of anger go because they are always in my head. I don't get so enveloped something that much that I lose these feelings of anger and hate.


Reason i don't wanna talk about these problems with my friends is sorting your problems out yourself is better. And I like being alone.I've always found people irritating but now I just wish they would all fucking die. Even my family. Depession has made me extremely angry and bitter. People around me don't take anything seriously like they should. They sail through life and don't even notice it and I'm stuck in a rut unable to get out. I just want to be dead. I can't stand people and I can't avoid them forever so death is the only way out isn't it? I can't even control these feelings of fucking rage and hatred I have for evevyone and everything anymore. I dont speak much with my family anymore tbh i dont open my mouth often and i cant eat anything because all i wanna do is sleep(even though i cant sleep for 40 hours because of my anxiety)

TL;DR: I ve been through a lot mostly because of university exam and im angery all the time that i dont talk to people anymore since 2 day even with my family and i cant sleep or eat anything because depression and anxiety. I wish all the people around me was dead ( including me )