I am extremely lazy and introverted (aka have terrible anxiety attacks even just considering trying to make friends), meaning I'm not interested in doing literally anything. I don't like playing instruments, sports, any kind of social event, maintaining grades, doing anything other than watching shitty Netflix shows really.

I had been getting good grades because as long as somebody was forcing me to be somewhere I figured I'd do the work they were shoving at me, and I have gotten awards and am in mostly advanced classes and such, but recently I've started having teachers and classes that rely hugely on homework and independent study etc. and I'm just not willing to put in the effort. Hell, I don't even want to shower or brush my teeth most of the time.

Anyway, my grades have been dropping far past what I can cope with. I've never had anything below a B in a class before this year. What's more, every time I complain about the workload all anyone has to say to me is that I'm going to have homework all my life, and I should feel lucky right now.

I figure that if my whole life- or at least most of it- is going to consist of doing things I don't want to do, doing things that do not make me happy, it isn't worth living. All I want is to eat and sleep and watch shows, but I have to exsersize and maintain basic hygiene and worry about making enough money to survive, and all of that just sucks to me. I mean I'm sure it sucks to everyone, but that will be all I will have in my life. Other people have friends, significant others, hobbies to turn to but I don't have that and I don't want that.

I don't think I impact the world in any way so the only reason I'd have to stay alive is for my pets and my parents. My very few friends (two that I've had since middle school when I had some form of social skill) would all be fine without me as they have their own friends and eachother. Not to mention that we've been talking and hanging out steadily less and less. And if I'm being honest, staying alive for my pets and parents is just getting really tedious. At this point I'm waiting for my parents to die so I can have somebody adopt my pets and I can get on with running away from my problems.

I'm a coward. Obviously.