It doesn’t matter what the topic was, how controversial or how mundane it was. I was so much more positive, productive and happy when the topic was just kept to real life.

Online, it doesn’t matter what topic it may be, but everyone is so fucking ready to shoot you down and disqualify your entire existence based on a fucking opinion you may have. I never met any person in real life who does this. It’s so disheartening and it used to make me sad but slowly the sadness turned into anger.

The amount of negativity, pessimism and anger that I’ve come across online (while NOT purposefully seeking it out) is insane. It encompasses 99% of negativity and toxicity that I experience. The 1% is what I experience in real life. Which means I should be 99% happy!! Right?!?! Well, thats not whats happening.

I used to be smiling much more, I was readily engaging in small talk with strangers outside in public places, not being afraid of what they think of me.

I was happily expressing myself in EVERY social situation with no fear of judgement whatsoever, and absolutely no anxiety, as we should live in a normal life!! This was just 6 years ago.

Now I find myself just repeating in my brain the shit I regrettably exposed myself to for these few years. Getting angry before the situation warranted it, assuming other peoples’ perceptions of me, shutting myself down prematurely, and destroying my potential.

I hate it. I was never like this before. All my focus is scattered.