I just can't stop questioning myself.

I'm 30 and I'd spent the last eight years living abroad with my soon to be ex who's from the same country but I have to mention that we met someplace else.

We had lived for the last three on an island that is built on seasonal tourism which means finances were quite tricky to manage but life itself was pretty amazing.
Now here comes the problem. We were planning to start a family in a few years and I wanted to do that back home to be closer to my family while he has no intentions of ever coming home. He has no family living here no ties no nothing. That island is home for him.

I understand that and he understands my desires so we decided to part ways. Right now we're both back in our home country still living together in my parents empty house till the end of the month when he flies back to the island.

I'm job hunting trying to settle here but I have my doubts about staying here. My parents are great they understand our situation and they do everything to help me but I wasn't planning on moving back just yet. I wanted to spend a few more years abroad but now I feel like I can't "afford" that anymore. As I said I'm 30 and I think if I want a family here I have to stay here. No point of going away again. But in the same time I already miss the palm trees, the sandy beaches, the atmosphere... Life is so different here.

I just feel like I'm missing out on something either way...

(And if you made it through all this babbling let me apologize for the mistakes I made.)