I want to be a nicer person. I want to be a more interesting person. I want to be a more real person. I don’t know how to be all three at the same time.
Posted Jan 28, 2019 03:01 by anonymous
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3 comments
I hate when people are mean to me. So often I even take an innocent joke at my expense as an attack on my entire character. I know that’s not true, but it still feels bad.
The problem with that is that I’m a hypocrite. So often there are times when someone is just being themselves, and I say something mean. In the moment it feels good, especially if someone else is around to agree. But later, when I think back to the things I said and how it made those people feel, I feel guilty. I’m the person I hate.
Why do I act this way? Maybe I think that it gives me more personality, like it makes me cooler and more fun to be around somehow. There are a lot of times where I consciously try to be nicer. The only problem is that it makes it harder for me to stand out, like I lose what little “edge” I had to show to others.
I’m pretty quiet in general, and I’m so shy about sharing my interests because I feel like I know people don’t want to hear about them. Everyone wants to talk about what they like, not what someone else likes. Even my friends and family are hard to talk to, especially one on one when I have to help carry a conversation. I just feel boring.
I hate to say this, but I think a lot of people see me as somewhat “fake”. I don’t share my deepest feelings or thoughts with people because I’m afraid of being judged or “attacked”. I don’t let people know the real me, and I feel like people see right through me because of it. People don’t feel like they really know me, and I feel like I don’t really know people. Especially my friends. They’re definitely good friends, and I know they’re there for me if I need them, but I’m never the first one anyone goes to for anything. I feel like they all like me, but none of them love me.
It’s the opposite with my family. I feel like my family loves me because that’s just what family does, but sometimes I feel like they don’t really like me. Like I’m too annoying or not remarkable enough. The logical part of me says that it’s not true, because of course my family likes me. We are by no means dysfunctional or anything like that. I just feel like we have trouble connecting and it bums me out.
I want to be a nicer person. I want to be a more interesting person. I want to be a more real person. I don’t know how to be all three at the same time. But I’m going to try. Hopefully I can learn.
Sorry for the rambling way I wrote this, I wrote my feelings as they came into my head.
Commented Dec 26, 2019 08:59 by anonymous
You're hanging around with shallow people who make themselves feel better at the expense of others. You'll never become the person you can and should be if you continue to surround yourself with shallow fools. Volunteer at your local animal shelter, or food pantry. Find a church that speaks to the vacuum in your life and dig in.
Commented Aug 26, 2021 19:29 by DirtyCool
When you have to get on someone, make it a point to say "and now I feel like I've been just like you, an asshole... thanks a lot"
You've kept the edge, the moral high ground and owned the part of it that you feel you don;t like to be.. That's how you get respect.
Don't tolerate poor treatment.
You seem to handle it better than I would (you don;t wanna know, LOL)
Commented Jul 22, 2022 16:49 by anonymous
We must realize that God exists
We must realize that He created us.
We must realize that God has a personality.
We must realize that because God created us; He has the right to tell us how we are to live our lives.
We must realize that God has communicated those instructions to us in the Bible.
We must realize that God has created a Heaven; where all those who die in holiness go too. And they enjoy eternal bliss with God throughout all eternity; and a Hell, in which the devel and all of his angels and all those who do not obey the Gospel of Christ go to; and suffer insurmountable pain throughout eternity.
We must realize that we have violated the instructions that God has given us. And because we have violated those instructions; we deserve to go to Hell. Because God requires us to keep his commands perfectly in order to get to heaven.
We must realize that we; in our own strength cannot keep God’s requirements. And thus we habitually break Gods commands. And thus are unable to save ourselves from Hell by our own ability.
We must realize that despite this; God loves us and wants to save us from Hell. And have intimate fellowship with us.
We must realize that in order for God to accomplish this; He sent a part of Himself to the earth to live in a mans body; to teach us more of His laws; and then lay His life down for us. We must realize that Jesus Christ came to die on a cross to appease Gods anger that He has toward us because of our disobedience; and to set us free from sins bondage through the Blood that was shed; water baptism; and Holy Spirit baptism. So that it is now possible to walk in obedience to His will.
We must confess our sin’s to God; agreeing with him that what we have done in the past that was contrary to His will is wrong and promising to never do those things again.
We must ask God to forgive us based upon the blood that Jesus shed for our sins. (i.e. disobedience to His laws.)
We must ask Jesus to come into our hearts and take up residence within us as our Lord. Promising to be submissive too Him in all things! Willing to forsake everything of this world that displeases Him! We must surrender our wills completely to Him! No longer to live our lives for ourselves; but for Him! To be wholly pleasing to Him in all things.
We must then be submersed in water. (e.g. baptized.) So that we can participate in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. (In a spiritual sense.) And for the remission of our sins. (i.e. deliverance from sins power.)
We then must be baptized in the Holy Spirit. You will know that this has happened when one of the nine manifestations of the Holy Spirit are operating in your life on a regular basis.