We argue all the time and they’re explosive, on top of that we are very different and have very different love styles. Before I met him I was becoming a great person and generally very happy. Now I’m on anti depressants and have ideation every other night.

This isn’t entirely his fault not even close, a lot of things are going wrong in my life but I’d be lying to say our Rocky relationship isn’t a part of it. Every time we argue insults are thrown at each other, just as much from my end as his and it's becoming toxic and also turning me into a bad person.

Tonight he refused to play a ranked game with me because he thinks he’s too good and I’ll drag him down, btw we are both the same elo and very low elo. Yet he will play with his other friends. This makes me feel really left out especially because I’ve been enjoying ranked lately and wanted to play with him since the new season started.

This is a minimal example, but enough to upset me and realise we do less and less things together and he has this air of im better.

Other arguments we have are much worse and over much more serious things. We are also medium distance and only get to see each other 1-2 times a month. I’m upset about how distant we are becoming and how stressful this relationship is, but most of all about myself and how it’s affecting me and the person I’m becoming.

I genuinely feel so defeated and upset, I feel like he’s not the same person I fell in love with and like I can’t keep trying anymore, every days an argument or a ‘discussion’. My friends are constantly asking me if I’m okay, or my mother because I have started to look quite rough and neglected my social life, every other night I have puffy sore eyes.

We do so little things together and he’s not enjoying my company as much, or willing to try to play things with me for fun. It’s only fun if it’s with his friends, which I join in with otherwise I wouldn’t see him much at all. At the start we did all sorts of stupid things he or I wouldn’t be interested in and had such a great time anyway, laughing and talking for hours. There’s none of that anymore, he doesn’t even want to try when I ask him.

My biggest concern is probably our love styles, when I’m upset I need someone to hold me and be there for me, no words need to be said. Whereas with him he needs to be away from me, and go play with friends otherwise he gets quite agitated and starts to turn off his emotions/ doesn’t care.

I understand everyone has different ways of coping, but I don’t see how this will exactly work considering how different we are.


I know I love him but it’s going away day by day. At this point I’m exhausted, mentally and physically. I’m neglecting so much in my life as all my energy is being consumed by this relationship and it’s going nowhere, it’s not progressing, not improving.

Just getting worse and worse. I don’t know what to do anymore.