It's not a happy song, but I like it. It helps me think. I think. And when I think, I think I get this sad face (which only looks ever more sullen the more focused I am).

I always feel bad when people ask me if I'm okay. But I really just want to be left alone (to enjoy my song or think).

But not because I'm sad.

And sometimes it gets really annoying because I'm tinkering at this thought, and I'm almost there. Like ahhh. So that's what happened wrong with in our setup (I work in a lab).

It's like your in your little think room trying to get to an orgasm and suddenly your unexpected roommate walks in... and ruins everything (that didn't happen).

But what really gets me... is that after a while, people noticed... "Why are you so touchy Anna. Everytime you listen to that song you get so angry."

Well. John did.

No. John Doe. You know nothing. You manage to be an asinine jerk, a complete thorn in my side all day. Every day. That. I don't want to deal with you. I don't want to talk to you. But I do, because I'm polite. I'm nice. (But honestly. John is disorganized. Rushes me when I'm SCHEDULED FOR THAT BLOCK in that room. AND never keeps THE STATION CLEAN. ahhhh - it's not even a station that is his/ours... we all use it... and i end up cleaning it up like I'm some sort of caretaker...when I'm still trying to meet my own deadlines).

Anyways. One day. I just snapped. "Yes John. This song makes me incredibly sad, now can you leave me alone to wallow in my anger and sadness?"

And the most wonderful miracle happened. Thank Murphy. He left me alone! He wasn't messy. He didn't wait in the doorway (like some guy-who-wants-sex-but-I-just-want-the=-lights-off-so-i-can-sleep) for the staining room.

What's more is John talks to everyone. I mean complains. Complains to everyone. Some people have tried to console me over my song in the beginning, but now everybody kind of just leaves me alone.

So. Whenever I want to be left alone, power through my work. I just listen to my 'sad' song.

I feel like some edgy teenager, But I suppose that's the part I have to play working with what I find are really immature and irresponsible lab mates.

tl;dr: I like a sad song. Listen to it. Don't want to be bothered. Tell everyone that it's my sad song. Love the song more than ever.

inb4 someone tells me I should grow up or just communicate instead of being passive-aggressive: I have. And after a while I even complained to my supervisor that it was compromising my ability to be productive (John pestering me/being disorganized/whatever). Although I love ...Spartacus (I'm running out of pseudonyms - i only know Anna Red, John/Jane doe so I'm using Spartacus - now I'm wondering why Ulysses didn't tell the Cyclops he was John Doe). Anyways. Spartacus is my supervisor tells me "Boys will be boys."


Yikes.