This is really hard for me to post, because I feel very conflicted.

Half of me is not feeling guilty at all because I hate justified anger towards the Muslim community.

The other half is guilty because people died.

Let me first just say that I was born Muslim and grew to hate Islam because I was also gay. I’m 28 now.

I do not want to get into all my life details .

But I grew up in Milton, Ontario and was a practicing Muslim until 2016 when I became atheist, because I couldn’t stand being abused by the imams and Muslim communty members i became friends with at mosques I went to.

I used to pray and go to Friday sermons.

When I came out at 18, the majority of my family disowned me quoting the Quran on a daily basis. I was beaten and kicked out of my home.

When I to a mosque in Mississauga, I was arguably forcibly held down once by an imam and members of the Muslim community and other Muslim men and had an exorcism done on me to take “the gay out of me”.

My family that didn’t disown me forced me to go through Islamic reparative therapy at a local mosque for years.

I can’t tell you how many Friday sermons at various mosques I’ve been to where the imam talks about how “disgusting” the gay community is by talking about the story of sodom and Gomorrah and calling for the deaths of the gay community. And every Muslim in the sermon goes “amen “ and agrees. But NO one ever talks about how the Muslim community that go to mosques ever talks about how much gays are hated and wished death upon.

What made me leave Islam was shortly after the Orlando shooting in 2016 where a Muslim shot and killed 50 lgbt people at the pulse night club... I went to two Friday sermons in different cities on different days where the imam was talking about how the shooting was a blessing and a punishment from god. I literally left both congregations in the middle after the Muslim’s in the congregation go “amen” after the imam saying this.

So I went into a congregation recently at a local mosque and disrupted the imam I front of the whole community and cried and told him how dare he give condolences to the lives of people if he didn’t have the same respect for the people that lost their lives in Orlando in 2016 and how disrespected me for coming out years ago. I told him to burn in hell among other things and was escorted out.

After the New Zealand shooting I felt so much anger for the Muslim community because those same Muslim’s never gave the same respect to the victims of the gay community for the pulse shooting and myself, but expect condolences for what happened when I have seen and when they call for the deaths of gay people.

And it’s my opinion if a Muslim had gone into a gay club and shot up 50 gay people in New Zealand , there would not be any positive response from the muslim community and even from the government.

TL;DR: I exploded at a Friday sermon vigil for the New Zealand shootings at a local mosque. I called out the imam for being a hypocrite for wishing well for the victims family when he wished for the deaths of gay people and condemned the victims of the Orlando shooting at Pulse in 2016.