Hi everyone! I am having trouble dealing with my emotions on the situation so maybe someone can help me. If you read this whole thing, please give me some guidance, closure, reassurance, anything. Thank you. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now, but we are NOT TTC. We are both busy with school and work and have talked about wanting to wait a few years until we can plan for a baby, if we decide to do so. I track my cycle on an app and it is very regular. Every month, for 7 days, I've always had a heavy flow and towards the end, I spot darker brown blood. I will occasionally spot mid cycle for 3 days or so then nothing until my period comes. I stopped taking birth control years ago. I’ve never had an issue before recently. I track every time we have sex, and whether it’s protected or unprotected. We almost ALWAYS use protection but there have been a few times that we did not and used the pull out method. I am aware that precum can get someone pregnant if all the stars align and everything matches up but we have never been worried. Recently, I started spotting light brown discharge back on June 24th. My period was due the following week. I figured it was just normal spotting for mid cycle since that has happened before.. but after a week of this “spotting”, it turned to bright red blood which was extremely light, not enough to be my normal period or to fill a tampon. Then on day 5 of this bright red bleeding it started getting heavier. On the heaviest night, I noticed that I filled 2-3 tampons within an hours time. I was shocked. That’s when the clotting started. I remember going to the bathroom, and feeling this feeling that something just fell out of me and it happened to be the weirdest large clot I’ve ever seen. I did have little clotting after the large one but I didn’t think much of the situation besides that it was odd. I remember telling my boyfriend to come look. I did not suspect at all that I could be pregnant, and thought it was just my period and maybe a cyst that ruptured during the period since I am prone to those. I decided to make an appointment with the doctor just to make sure everything was ok. I stopped bleeding July 14. My appointment was on the 18th. After explaining the above to her, she told me it sounded like it was a miscarriage. I started crying. The fact that I had NO CLUE that I could’ve been pregnant with the man I loves baby, and lost it, made me so sad. Before this, I didn’t know anything about miscarriage, or how common it was. I didn’t understand how people don’t want to discuss the topic if 1 in 4 women go through this. I knew nothing about the feeling of the possibility of carrying a baby. The closeness you can feel to your partner to think that you made something so special, together. Then it is gone, for no reason. Just like that... and you can’t do anything about it. How could I feel all these emotions when we weren’t even TTC or knew I could’ve been pregnant? I felt loss, sadness, a connection to the baby that may or may not have been inside me, and love towards my boyfriend who comforted me from the moment I walked out of that doctors office. The urine test came back negative, then I did a blood test, and a trans abdominal ultra sound the following day. My hcG levels came back negative and there was nothing abnormal about the ultra sound. The doctor informed me that she doesn’t know why that happened. It sounds like it was a miscarriage, or she said I t could’ve been stress? Now I can’t stop thinking about it. I want a more definitive answer. Maybe it passed through me completely before testing took place, and we’ll never know but the emotions behind the unknown are making me feel uneasy. The feeling of loss but the unsureness of if I should be feeling that way. I need some insight. Thanks everyone.