My best friend, who is a dope fiend. We were friends from the time I was 13 to 21- We were both sick, self harming drug addicts.
There were good times, but they were out weighed by terrible terrible days.
Two years ago I quit drinking and He relapsed into shooting up. I realized I had to cut him loose to save myself, it felt like cutting off my own arm.
Everyday it feels like he's some phantom limb of mine, even though it's coming up on three years.
I used to consider myself a good person, but I left the person I loved the most so that I could love myself.
I hate myself. I can't even sleep most nights over it. I can't tell my friends or my significant other or my family.
I know now that our friendship was terribly sick and codependant but I spent my entire adolescence trying to save him. It makes me nauseous.
Right now, I'm living the life I've always dreamed of and every. single.fucking.day. I hope he's still alive
Sorry if this is long, or the grammar is shit. Just had to get it off my chest.
I know there's worse and bigger problems out there- neither him or I have parents left alive and yknow we took care of each other.
Fuck.