I don't really know what caused it. But any sort of stimuli I experience, even hearing a song I once liked, offers no sort of pleasurable effect for me. Even when I've tried to have sex, I just don't get any pleasure out of the experience at all.

I don't really have a problem talking to people. I can do my job well enough. But when it comes to seeing family in whatever situation, I usually just say "Hi" and that's it. Even eating doesn't really provide me with any sort of emotional benefit. Like, I know what pizza tastes like. But the "Mmm this is delicious" response doesn't really exist for me.

So I tend to spend most of my days in a neutral state. Neither happy nor sad. I've tried taking antidepressants to see if that does anything but it doesn't, really. I don't really even fear anything either. I know this because I saw a wasp in my room once and most people would scream and run but I just ignored him and eventually disposed of it.

Maybe one day this will change. Maybe.