i hate this country. i hate its justice system. i want someone to try to attack me again, just so that i can fight them tooth and nail. i want to feel better. i want my rapist in jail. i want people to fucking hear me.
Posted Aug 15, 2019 02:13 by anonymous
447 views |
13 comments
he was the first boy to ask to be my boyfriend. i was fifteen when i met him. i was seventeen by the time i had the courage to leave. yet, all of the memories i can find from that period of time could fit into one day, but to this day, three years later, i am still realizing things that are fucked up about me. that were taken from me.
i feel ugly, useless, angry, confused, like i don’t even understand the way my brain works anymore, like a conspiracy theorist about my own mind. i want love but i don’t even know what it’s supposed to look like. i want to love myself but i can’t find anything there that’s worth loving. i don’t want to be lonely anymore, but i’ve fucked up every friendship that meant anything to me.
out of every 100 rapists, 99 walk free.
that’s off the top of my head, but very close to the actual statistic. why the fuck would i even try and report what happened to me, every day, for two years, when nobody would ever take my case? i don’t have any hard evidence. i can’t even remember most of it. i don’t have dates, or messages, or videos, or witnesses. i don’t have bruises or scars— at least, not ones that can be photographed and shown to a jury.
fuck this country and its corrupt, broken, steaming pile of shit that we call a justice system. i don’t want that. i want somebody to test me, just once. just one grab, one inappropriate comment, just to give me one reason to let loose, release this pent-up rage i have from being consistently manipulated, degraded, and humiliated. i want to beat someone to a god damn pulp. because that’s way cheaper than therapy. so is pot, but the fucking government wants to shit on me for that, too, but that’s a completely different rant.
and he’s still out there. he could be anywhere. he could be lurking around any corner, the next aisle over in the grocery store, popping up in the drive-thru window of a fast food restaurant, or pulling up next to me in the parking lot of a target. or worse, he could be out there finding more girls to abuse.
i want him dead. or at least gone. at the very least somewhere far away. i want someone to hear me and tell me it’ll be okay. but it’s 2 am, and this post will probably get buried, and that’s okay. i just feel like i’m screaming out for help all the time with nothing to show for it.
for the few of you who read this all the way to the bottom, thank you, and have a good night, and be safe out there.
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Commented Aug 15, 2019 03:03 by anonymous
You survive. You lick your wounds, heal, and prepare. You let your anger drive you but you have to also be in enough control for your heart to heal you.
Because you are a warrior. He didn’t kill your spirit, the flame of your soul within. You must tend to yourself. Stay with your therapy. You got out. You’re doing great! I believe in you!
Commented Mar 29, 2020 04:35 by anonymous
What a fucking psycho.
Commented Apr 1, 2020 17:37 by anonymous
“What a fucking psycho.”
Get lost faggot
Commented Apr 17, 2020 14:48 by Hotcouple
If you dont like this country...get the fuck out and go try to be happy somewhere else you pathetic loser
Commented Jul 13, 2020 13:48 by anonymous
Stop voting for shitbag leftist democrats and your life will start to improve. It will take a while, considering all the damage these America-hating seditionists have inflicted on society - but it will only get worse if they remain in office.
Commented Sep 22, 2020 14:48 by anonymous
be proud of the fact that you are at least angry. not curling up in a ball and crying. but a piece of advice, and you please do not take it the wrong way. Be extra careful from now on. Some rape survivors experience a kind of trauma in their brain that makes them less prone to judging correctly how dangerous some people or situations are. idk how it works exactly, but this is why people who have been raped once are likely to have that happen to them a second time.
Commented Sep 22, 2020 14:52 by anonymous
You hate this Country....Leave
Commented Jan 5, 2021 04:37 by anonymous
You said " i don’t have any hard evidence. i can’t even remember most of it. i don’t have dates, or messages, or videos, or witnesses. i don’t have bruises or scars." Yet you expect someone to lose their freedom because of vague memories and feelings that you have.
I'm sorry for what happened to you. I don't think that you can blame the justice system for this problem. What would you have them do. Just lock anyone up just because you say they did something. You really would not like living in such a world.
Commented Feb 25, 2021 12:38 by anonymous
Your rant was great. Cheaper than therapy for sure. Makes you feel better. That was the point, right...
Commented Mar 1, 2021 08:59 by anonymous
“You hate this Country....Leave”
She is right in saying so. It is the 99,9% that think the "red, white and blue" is something great... (me too at one point) .. And can't you tell that she is hurting ? I know exactly how she feels..
Commented Mar 1, 2021 09:00 by anonymous
“You survive. You lick your wounds, heal, and prepare. You let your anger drive you but you have to also be in enough control for your heart to heal you.
Because you are a warrior. He didn’t kill your spirit, the flame of your soul within. You must tend to yourself. Stay with your therapy. You got out. You’re doing great! I believe in you! ”
mumbo jumbo
Commented Mar 1, 2021 09:05 by anonymous
Did he make you orgasm?
Commented May 5, 2021 16:46 by anonymous
I'm not sure if you'll ever see this, but I hope you get your justice. Somehow, someway. I'm sorry that happened to you.