So I'm not even in high school yet, and it shouldn't matter- people can do things in their own time and tnat's fine. But I feel like shit about so many other things as well. I feel so so so hypocrite and annoying, I feel like I am responsible for people not liking me or stopping liking me, because I'm toxic and overly sensitive. And when I think about my life, I don't see me doing anything. I have no idea what I want to do in college, I have no kdea what I want to work with and I am almost 18. I don't see me as an adult person, I am too immature, too childish.

And I don't like my body. I feel so ugly sometimes. I don't think there's anything wrong with my face but I feel fat and my body is just strange. I have a boyfriend but I don't want to have sex with him because my body is gross and my boobs are gross and just... everything is so ugly and I wish I was prettier.

I feel like a manipulative and toxic person. I feel like there is no place in the world for me. I don't have any friends. I never go out because I have no one to go out with me. I am ugly and uninteresting and don't know what to do really.