I hate my SO's friend because I'm jealous. I'm jealous because I'm insecure (or vice versa). I choose to be an adult and accept that, but I still hate dealing with it.
Posted Jun 12, 2019 01:29 by anonymous
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2 comments
So my long term SO has this friend that I don't like due to jealousy.
My dislike towards her ranges from "she's not so bad, she's just not someone I'd be friends with" to "she's a nasty-a** h** and I want her out of my life".
I've tried to justify my jealousy in several ways. I told myself that my SO's attachment to her is worrisome instead of acknoweldging that the attachment comes naturally with the friendship. I told myself that she's inappropriate and disrespects our relationship instead of acknowledging that her behavior doesn't matter as long as I trust him and he doesn't cross boundaries. I told myself that she's manipulative and enjoys triggering my reactions instead of acknowledging that it's my fault for giving her so much power over me. I told myself that there's no way this jealousy is my fault because she's the only female friend I feel this way about instead of acknowledging that I'm simply insecure when it comes to her.
At the end if the day, my SO has done nothing wrong by being friends with her. On top of that, my jealousy towards her is an issue I have to deal with on my own.
It's hard when I'm hanging out with them, and there are all these things about her that drive me up the wall. But I love my SO, and I have no right to control his friendships.
So I'll just deal with these feelings.
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Commented Jul 23, 2019 00:02 by anonymous
Your SO's friends don't have to be your friends. Be civil and try to find the good in everyone you meet. If your SO and friend are together frequently use at least some of the time to enjoy your own hobbies and time with your own friends. In every marriage or long term romantic relationship there needs to be a me, you and an us. Go out and experience the world and your hobbies and they gives you a way to reconnect with your SO later in the day.
Commented Jul 23, 2019 00:05 by anonymous
“Your SO's friends don't have to be your friends. Be civil and try to find the good in everyone you meet. If your SO and friend are together frequently use at least some of the time to enjoy your own hobbies and time with your own friends. In every marriage or long term romantic relationship there needs to be a me, you and an us. Go out and experience the world and your hobbies and they gives you a way to reconnect with your SO later in the day.”
(Didn't proofread close enough before posting) Your SO's friends don't have to be your friends. Be civil and try to find the good in everyone you meet. If your SO and friend are together frequently use at least some of the time to enjoy your own hobbies and time with your own friends. In every marriage or long term romantic relationship there needs to be a me, you and an us. Go out and experience the world and your hobbies and *that gives you a way to reconnect with your SO later in the day.