It’s like I want to die but I don’t want to die. I just want things to get better but I feel like that is never gonna happen. It’s like growing up I looked forward to getting to college because I knew once I made it life would look better and I would be happy but then I got to college and life kinda got worse. Now I’m 21 and my life doesn’t look like it’s gonna get better any time soon. It’s like I walk around with this large hole of sadness in my chest. Sometimes I’m so sad it physically hurts. My parents are shit, and I can’t talk to anyone about my feelings. When I tell my friends how sad I am it makes them uncomfortable. They said they don’t even know how to talk to me because they feel like anything will trigger me and push me over the deep end. So that leaves me here alone feeling like I have all this pain, hurt, and emotion and no hope for the future. No outlet. I’m drowning and don’t know how to come up for air.