I’m 27 years old and I feel like I have accomplished next to nothing in my life. It scares the shit out of me, and with each passing day I feel more and more disappointed and hopeless about my situation.

I have a wonderful girlfriend who is beyond successful. I’m so, so proud of her and it is inspiring to see her realize her dreams everyday. She makes me feel very special and loved, and I just want to show her that I can provide and care for her as well. I want her to be proud of the person she’s with. I don’t want to feel left behind or especially that I’m holding her back.

My parents are both so hard working and have made successful careers for themselves after immigrating and not knowing a lick of English, alongside my brother, who of course is also doing well.

Then there’s me. I graduated from university years ago and have been unable to find stable employment or anything really related to my field. I rely on the finances of others, I am incredibly stressed and embarrassed around holidays and birthdays as it is hard to round up money for gifts. I have tons and tons of debt after spending and thinking I’d get a job and pay it all off. I mean even renting a place to myself let alone making a large purchase is something I can’t even imagine doing. I’m probably looking at like 5-10 years of working before I’d be able to save money for anything like a down payment.

I’ve resorted to ridesharing to make some pocket change, while helplessly looking for work and trying to network however well I can, but after months of trying it’s getting harder and harder to stay motivated.

I feel the disappointment of my family members and it sucks so much. My dad never asks how my days are anymore, it feels almost juvenile telling him about the people I drove around, as if I’m not even working a real job. It sucks seeing people around my age enjoying success and building a future for themselves. I know I can do so much better but I feel lost and don’t know where to even begin over for the millionth time. I don’t want to be a burden anymore.