It started off as an accident at a grocery store. I reached to grab a product from a shelf and inadvertently released a toxic cloud on a 70-something boomer who had impatiently crowded behind me. Her face melted like a Nazi in Raiders of the Lost Arc and I felt HORRIBLE.

Not 10 minutes later I watched her push in front of people waiting on line and be completely rude to the woman checking her out because she didn't like the way her groceries were bagged. Not only did I cease to feel bad, I delighted in knowing that molecules that were previously in my rectum were now settled in her nasal passages.

Since then, whenever I see a boomer acting like entitled trash, I actively seek opportunities to fart on them. I feel like a psychopath as I stalk a target boomer around a store or on the metro and try to muster a fart for them to "experience."

I will confess that I like the louder ones more than the SBDs because of the instant gratification of watching them get knocked down a peg knowing that they were bathed in my ass gas. They never say a thing.