When I was in third grade there was this kid who transferred to our school, Anthony. He was pretty cool and lived nearby, so I invited him over to a play date. That was great, and we found a lot of common interests. I quickly absorbed him, and I went over to his house or he went over to mine almost every weekend. Everything was great, and until recently (sophomore year) I hadn’t realized that he never invited me anywhere, it was always me connecting us. Around fifth grade we had a falling out, and we’ve never talked about how we were friends since.

I always loved to read when I was little, and all through first to seventh grade I read voraciously, and cast all other things aside. Like friends and talking to people, sports and other things. When people would ask if I had a talent in school, I honestly would answer books. In seventh grade I stopped reading because I realized it was making me look weird to the other kids. I already had a bowl haircut and I was chubby, so it was like painting a target on my back to have a book as well. I cleaned up myself in eight grade, and I’ve spent a great deal of time polishing myself fir the last two years.



This isn’t really what I’m sad about, but it is a bit melancholic. What’s saddening is the fact that it took me about four years to figure out that he didn’t want to be my friend. I feel behind socially because of my books, and my not caring for friends. I’m not a weird kid anymore though, I think people actually like me. It’s Mostly girls though, which is the people I just connect with better now anyways.

It just hurts when I finally realize that somebody doesn’t like me, and its a scary feeling when nobody invites you places either, like you have to make all of the plans or you won’t be part of the group. It’s a shitty feeling. I can’t really fake being happy with my friendships anymore. It’s hard to figure out what to talk about over text, and I’d rather call, but that’s considered weird now.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I want to be important to somebody, I want a best friend again. It sucks to be left to yourself.

Thanks for reading guys. It means a lot.