I'm a 15 year old girl, and I've never felt so much pressure on me ever before. My parents keep on nagging me about what I want to do in college, and I just tell them I'm still not sure, though I know exactly what i want in life. I've always been an ambitious person. I don't want to be like everyone else and live normal life. I want to make a change. Hell I wanna make history. The only way I picture myself doing that is through my passion for music. I just love it so much words can't describe. I would literally trade oxygen for music if that were possible. I've been told by many people that I have so much potential and I know I can do it.

The only problem is...This is a secret. My parents have always valued education so much, so I never dared tell them about this. The one time they accidentally found out, my doubts were confirmed; My dad found my most valuable notebook. The one where I wrote all my music and ideas. He was furious with me. He called me dumb, delusional, and idiot etc etc. Well, I've never seen that book ever since. I later learned from my sister that he burned it.

I pretend that I've given up on my dreams just to spare all the lectures. Now my parents are starting to plan my career after high school. They didn't specifically force me to choose a certain something. By that I mean "Oh, you can study whatever you want. Just not art, Music, Linguistics, English, History etc. because they're all useless." In other words, get an engineering, science, or finance degree or else you're gunna be miserable.

Their expectations are extremely high and it makes me feel terrble about myself. for ex. I was one point away from getting an A in math (got a B that was 89%, and my parents told me that they were disappointed and that, judging from my grades, I'm weak at math.

I plan to tell my parents I'm taking a gap year after school, and leave as soon as I graduate HS. I'll write them a letter telling them that i'd rather follow my dreams than waste my life tryna please someone who is never satisfied and is tryna live thru me.

I'm off to follow my heart in 3 years. My parents never believed in me, but I believe in myself, yet sometimes i feel like i'm drowning in my fears and worries. I'm scared. but that's my only choice and I CAN, I WILL, I MUST.

I just wanted some support since i literally have no one in this world other than a few people that i've never shared this with.