TL;DR: The title

Just, why? why be social? and why does it bother me now that I am not social, interesting, or nice to hang around with. My whole life has just been on devices honestly, I admit I am a shithead and well, whatever, why do I care to just be this mess? Why do I want friends now? I had always been the kind of person that said that he doesn't need friends and now I do feel like shit for not having friends but why should I? I am literally a lot happier by just not trying to get friends and just playing games like I did many years ago

I had never had friends I guess..... most of my current "friends" might be fake too. Why do I keep trying to get friends? man, I am not interesting and I am a shithead and a dumbfuck so of course I am not gonna get any, people everywhere often just tell me to fuck off without even saying or doing anything, I am just there on Roblox Survivor, just trying the game out, or VRChat, and then of course I just get a fuck off the moment I come in. It sucks, everybody being mean to you for no reason and others just finding you as someone that's not interesting nor anything. Why do I want friends? Maybe I am just jealous that people have others to support them, to talk to whenever they had doubts, to have fun with, they got people to be the best pals and just have the most fun like the misfits or the people at my school, and don't have that, I don't have any friends or family to do that, maybe I am jealous, having friends looks like just a ton of fun and why don't I get that benefit? that's right, I am just unlikable and the only thing you could like about me would be just any project, list, pack, or whatever I make that does end up well and that's it. Having friends seems like a ton of fun but seeking for them just.... it's the worst, asking how people are doing and just saying hello is awkward and there's mostly never a good reason for conversation, looking for friends has just made me sad for severals hours on several days, I just am done after I played VRChat a few days ago and it was just clear that maybe I am not unlikable, there's just nothing to me, and should I feel bad for being a piece of shit, boring, unlikable, or whatever you can add to the list if you did research? no, I shouldn't, why should I? what matters the most is not looking for friends but being happy and I am clearly not happy at all with just finding friends. Minding my own business and playing games is fun and does make me happy, so well, I should focus on what makes me happy rather than trying to look for something that in consequence will make me sad. I am just jealous.... I really want to have a good time just like many others do

I am done.... I will no longer comment, well, I will, you sometimes can't resist you know? but, I am mainly don't going to keep trying to go get friends, in VRChat I am gonna be a spectator, in Roblox I am also not going to say anything. I am done.... you guys enjoy having friends, I don't need them. I also should stop posting rants and stuff that's just this sort of thing.