I don't know where or with who to go, i'm tired, I don't wanna do this anymore but at the same time I still feel I can't stop.
I keep failing over and over, tripping down in every way possible. If there’s a chance something can go wrong for me it will. My main worry is my education, what the fuck am I supposed to do to be successful, not even that, to do things right. I’ve been struggling hard the 2 years I’ve been in, as well as all my middle school years. I know and I feel I have potential, people say and see I have potential. I want to do achieve things, I’m often inspired but at the moment. I plan, I organize, but at the fucking moment I have to begin something, I just can’t, I just cannot do anything right. I don’t know what it is anymore. If either I’m lazy some sometimes my parents say or my mind, or if it is my Asperger Syndrome. The struggle to stay in the path I want it’s just torture but now, now that I’m writing this, I had never been so close to total failure, to dropping off what I’m doing, my school. I’m afraid of continuing but still I don’t wanna stop, I feel lonely, really helpless, wanna find out what’s missing that doesn’t allow me to do things right, but I’ve thought of it some much, I've circled my mind countless time and I can’t find out what it is. I think now it will end up as 2 things, the dispute on wether I give up or keep going. I don’t wanna die neither be nobody, I wanna be somebody but what’s the point, why is the struggle if I am not gonna solve anything... Where do you go in this types of situations, where there is nowhere else to run, where you can't tell anybody with the fear they keep telling you it may be impossible, when your parents will talk you down hard before looking into alternatives, where. When you have nobody to hug and tell you it's gonna be alright and even when you get someone like that you know it's false and he/she just feels sorry for you.
Posted Oct 25, 2019 14:49 by anonymous
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