obviously using a throw away lol.

Recently I’ve had old memories resurface of situations from when I was a kid that just.. weren’t right. I don’t want to say I was sexually abused and take the power of that word away from someone who really deserves to use it. So I guess I’ll just say some stuff that happened and how I think it’s affected me

This is the main one: my older sister had a best friend and we would go over to her house to play. Her sister had an older brother. Since they didn’t want to play with the younger sister they would make me go play with him. Not to go into too much detail but I had to do sexually explicit things, I was maybe 6 he was probably 15 or so.

My sister also had another friend (a girl) who would sneak into my room and act out sexual things.. but not? Actually do them, not sure how to explain that. I remember one day realizing it made me feel wrong and trying to stop and she wouldn’t let me.

In kindergarten I remember one kid would reach into my pants consistently and I never told anyone.

In a weird way I think it made me a very sexual child because I thought that’s what was normal, but now I’ve done a full 180° and am genuinely ashamed by the thought of sex. I’m a young adult now, and while not asexual I just.. feel a bit repulsed and dirty about those kinds of things. Does this have any relation do you think?