My boyfriend of two years recently confessed to me that he had been feeling depressed for a while. It came up when I noticed that he had become more distant and would not talk to me about himself or his problems. He slowly started closing up, so I talked to him if he can be more open to me about it and talk to me whenever he is feeling down or if something was up. He did start doing that but things have become progressively worse. Our love life is almost non existent, he became completely uninterested in it and left me feeling frustrated. I know I sound like a horrible person already but I really love him and do not wish to separate from him, we have even talked about marriage and becoming engaged. We used to be so close, we would talk about everything, go out on dates, laugh, take long walks, but we are far from that now. He went to go see a therapist and was prescribed with anti depressants but he refuses to take them because he is is worried about the effects and how he might react to it, which I completely understand. I’m always there for him, provide him support, comfort him and calm him down when he is having a panic attack, listen to him, and do everything I can to cheer him up. Now all he does is sleep and we don’t do anything outside of home anymore like going out on dates. All we talk about now is him trying to get better or how bad he is feeling. I tried talking to my sister about it, but all she can say is for me to be there for him and support him. I’ve talked to him about God because I thought that is what he is missing in his life. He confessed to me that he did something terrible when he was younger, he stabbed a man as an initiation for a gang. Now he constantly feels guilty about it and thinks about wether he survived or not. Perhaps that is what he deserves but he eventually needs to seek forgiveness from god and forgive himself. He can’t seem to do that, no matter what I say to him it’s always the same. He can’t move forward and I’m becoming more and more frustrated as each day passes. I don’t even want to think about leaving him, he is not a bad person. I am all he has when it comes to emotional support. I can’t take it anymore, when I’m with him now it feels extremely draining. I feel like such a terrible person for even feeling and thinking this way. I know I have to be there for him, but it’s becoming too much for me to handle. I had to get this off my chest, I can’t talk to anyone else about it.