warning- descriptive not for u-18...............

We were both in school, both curious to explore the human body, we used to hang out together and often played truth or dare. there was some curious innocent sexual tension between us for a while and one day we both tried to slowly push the boundaries. it started with daring each other to take off our shirts(her bra was on) and moved on to kissing and rubbing each others bodies( with clothes on). we both liked it and started doing it every time we found alone time, she told me she had kissed other guys and taught me how to kiss properly, we used to watch porn and make out after it. one day while i was watching porn and she came to my house, aroused she took off her top and asked me to kiss and lick her breasts, i said no because i was not ready for anything that included directly touching the privates without clothes. my parents were about to come home and she said " i will stay here like this until you do it(naked upper body)" finally with the fear of my parents finding out, i had to do it. after that i avoided her for a while because i was scared and was forced to do something i didn't want to , but we met often due to circumstances and finally we started making out again after 1-2 weeks after she promised me that she wouldn't force me like that ever. jump forward a month and she found a boyfriend, we continued this for 2 weeks after that but then she said she didn't want to anymore. i was lost since i liked it a lot, we were still good friends and then it became sporadic as to when she fought with her bf she would meet me and we would make out, there were times we met and i kissed her and she didn't reciprocate and the next day she would kiss me when nobody was around and we made out. soon she found another bf whom she liked even more and we completely stopped kissing, we only continued with tightly hugging each other while laying down or rubbing our genitals while holding the other persons hand, this too changed to her talking to her bf on the phone while i was the only one doing the masturbation while holding her hand. one day i asked her to kiss and she said no i don't want to which i responded(i have no idea why) by fondling her breasts over her clothes, she said no and we started talking to her bf while i went to another room upset. later she fought with her bf and we made out again for a few days she told me really liked when i fondled her breasts. after the few days i fondled her breast again and she simply walked away without any response(i later found out she was back on good terms with her bf), 2 days later i repeated the same action and she snapped at me saying " how dare you, don't do it again".i got scared because i felt that i had done something wrong. we didn't speak much for a week, she used to go into my room and speak to her bf while i sat in the hall watching tv. after a few days she broke up with her bf and we slowly got back to making out a lot again. jump to a few months later one day she came to my place when my mother was home aroused and we made out in my room ( my door latch had broken a few days ago and we used a few books to block it from opening), she suddenly took off her pants and demanded i massage and kiss her vagina( a key to note here is neither she nor i had ever directly touched each others genitals "because we didn't want to touch the place the other peed from ) , i refused telling her that i don't want to do that lets just stick to kissing and rubbing each others bodies. but she said " i wont put back my pants until you do it, do it before your mom come looking for you and she finds out", i kept trying to reason but she wasn't taking a no, in the mean time my mom called and asked us what we were doing to which i replied nothing. Panic stricken i obliged to her request and she went home after that. i felt hurt, violated and horrible to be coerced into doing something like that
and completely avoided her after that for a few months, one day aroused i called her up and asked her to come and she said no she doesn't want to do it with me anymore because i was a coward for being scared to take it further and avoiding her because she made that request, the next time we met i confronted her saying that she broke to rules twice and because of that we stopped and after fighting for a while we kissed. the next day i went to her place and she said she changed her mind, aroused and upset i told her "you've forced me twice to do things i didn't want to and i had no option other than to accede to your request, this time i want to " and i kissed her, she kept her mouth completely shut and i lost interest because of that and fell back, she said she felt upset that i kissed her when she said no and she doesn't want to talk to me again. next day i apologized and she ignored me.we didn't speak for a month or two, and then maintained formal relations for 1-2 years. after that we became friends again but we never mentioned our past and pretended it never happened. we are still good friends but we have a silent pact to never mention it. Today as an adult i feel horrible that i forced that last kiss upon her. A part of me says that i am a horrible person to do that, while a consoling part of me says that she forced you to do way worse multiple times just forget it.

today with all the awareness about harassment i don't know how i should feel about it. i keep asking myself:

1. did be both sexually harass each other at different occasions.
2. did i sexually harass her by forcing that kiss.
3. should i feel guilty about it?
4. am i thinking too much into it, i should just forget it.

i just don't know how i should feel about it anymore.