So this has been weighing on me for a really long time. And I just need to vent. And maybe get advice.

There is someone in my life that I feel like I constantly am doing something wrong in their eyes. I can't ever seem to do anything right. And for a long time, I was so worried about it that I would avoid seeing them every day and be careful about everything that I did. It is sometimes the dumbest things. And I know sometimes it actually is me, but those things seem to get blown out of proportion. I am at a loss of what to do. Because even when I think I am not doing anything wrong, I somehow am.

I don't like being around them because it's just constant anxiety. Will they see something that reminds them of something I did a long time ago and they bring it up? Will I say something that reminds them of something I did, and all those emotions resurface and we argue about it all over again?

I hate confrontation, and that is where a lot of my anxiety from it stems. And the fact that I hate when people are mad at me. So it bothers me to no end. The littlest things seem to upset them. And whenever something goes wrong, it is like they actively seek out other reasons to be mad at me just so they have more to gripe at me about. I feel like they like being mad at me.

A few months ago, things got so bad that we were forced to sit down and tell each other how we feel. But, we had a mutual person there to kind of mediate and stop the other from being unreasonable and calling each of us out on our crap. And it went well. It was tough, but we did it. And from that point on, whenever we were together things were fine and a lot better. We were both actively trying to make an effort for the other.

But now they are getting bad again. And at this point I am at a loss of what to do about it. I don't want them out of my life.. We've been friends for years and I would be heartbroken without them there. Because it is not all bad.

I feel like I can't talk to them. They are very stubborn and everything is what they feel and how they see it. I can't ever do anything right by them. It seems that all that I do, has malicious intent to them. To them. And it doesn't. But, talking to them always seems pointless. Especially when they're mad. They always invalidate my points or my feelings.

I do not know what to do anymore. If there is anything I can do.. besides walk around on eggshells when I'm around them. I am just utterly lost on how to go about this.. or if I even can.