I am unhappy with my life and myself. Sometimes I just want to run away to some far land beyond the horizon. I just want to jump onto a plane to some other country and start a new life there. But I don't know why I am so unhappy. I have plenty of opportunities and I have a life so many people would want. While I'm just a teen in a lower-middle class home, I have a life much better than all of the starving people in the slums all over the world. I've been blessed with a privileged life and yet I am so unhappy. Many people would say I am very intelligent. I am an AP student with all A's and a GPA higher than the Eiffel tower. My academics are great and my life should be great. But I don't feel great. I don't like staying up until 1 AM completing homework. I was just trying to complete my AP Calculus a few minutes ago but I just broke out in tears and now I am writing this post I will probably delete later. I hate doing AP Calculus and AP Chemistry. I hate doing everything. I just want to crawl into my bed and sleep. I want to do what makes me happy.

But I don't even know what makes me happy. Perhaps as a child I had aspirations. I had dreams. But now I have nothing. I have no motive or goal for the future. So far everything I have done in life is to become 'successful' and get a lot of money. But I don't even know how I am going to do that. There's nothing I want to do in the future. School has just sucked all the life out of me. I am now nothing but a mindless robot completing simple tasks day and night. I have no mind and no personality. I am the most boring person on this earth.

I see no future for myself. I can't see where I will be in 10 years. I see absolutely nothing. I am so unhappy with myself and my life. I want to change everything but I can't. I know I'm just being pathetic. I'm being pitiful and self-absorbed. But I'm just so frustrated. I feel like some stupid angsty pre-teen again and I hate it. I don't know why I feel this way. There is no reason why I should be feeling this way; I have a blessed life. I don't know. But my angst does not matter anyway. In a hundred years my existence will be erased and it will be like I was never here. I'm probably going to delete this post later.