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CONFESS ANONYMOUSLY

I (25f) just remembered when I was sexually abused by my stepfather when I was a child. Until last week, I hadn’t remembered, and it was just like reliving it all over again. I feel wrong, I don’t know when I’ll ever feel like myself again.

Posted Aug 11, 2019 19:10 by anonymous
3349 views | 14 comments

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  • Commented Aug 11, 2019 19:19 by anonymous

    What does your step say about it?

  • Commented Aug 11, 2019 20:46 by anonymous

    Tell us what happened.

  • Commented Oct 5, 2019 02:01 by anonymous

    “Tell us what happened.”

    If you just remembered it then it’s nothing to worry about just a hot memory

  • Commented Jan 8, 2020 18:52 by anonymous

    Make a police report.

  • Commented Feb 25, 2020 19:10 by anonymous

    Your memory may be accurate, but you must be circumspect because you cannot know that your memory is correct unless you have corroborating evidence. The science of memory is quickly evolving, and you may want to watch the 2016 NOVA special called "Memory Hackers" to learn more about the reliability of memory. It is important that you get support to work through the difficulties you're experiencing, but this doesn't require making accusations that are likely to destroy numerous family relationships. Focus on living well and surround yourself with positive, nurturing people.

  • Commented May 3, 2020 03:09 by anonymous

    Your snowflake "me too" mind dreamed it up. Snowflakes can't tell the difference between dream and the real world.

  • Commented May 23, 2020 08:54 by Ilikelilgirls10

    I love the way people try to invalidate your memory's! You prolly were molested it's not uncommon! It doesn't have to be traumatizing though ! Turn the tables on your abuser tell him a flat out lie about someone he loves being raped or most abusers have multiple victims round them up and go beat the crap outa him

  • Commented Jun 9, 2020 15:34 by anonymous

    Well, what exactly happened? The issue of whether it is a real memory or possibly not could be resolved by your describing what you think happened. And maybe not. Freud is criticized because he often felt that his patients must be dreaming or making up abuse incidents, because they had infantalized sexual urges towards the parent, when perhaps the abuse actually happened. But to me it would seem that the details of the incident would indicate what actually happened. And in talking about it and getting it all out, it could help process the incident and get over the trauma of it.

  • Commented Aug 8, 2020 00:41 by anonymous

    You write nothing about the details of the sense in which you "didn't remember", nor about the circumstances of how you now come to "remember". As a result, I'll just have to take your description in the simple sense that you've given it. In that case:

    The idea of "repressed memories" has been thoroughly debunked. We can forget things because they're trivial or insignificant, but we don't go around forgetting things because they're massively important to us on a profoundly personal level, as trauma is by definition. Essentially, if it's traumatic, you didn't remember it, but now you do, then it didn't happen. Instead, the trauma is being inflicted right now, by whoever or whatever "helped" you to "retrieve" the "memory".

  • Commented Aug 8, 2020 00:47 by anonymous

    “Well, what exactly happened? The issue of whether it is a real memory or possibly not could be resolved by your describing what you think happened. And maybe not. Freud is criticized because he often felt that his patients must be dreaming or making up abuse incidents, because they had infantalized sexual urges towards the parent, when perhaps the abuse actually happened. But to me it would seem that the details of the incident would indicate what actually happened. And in talking about it and getting it all out, it could help process the incident and get over the trauma of it.”

    we all know he just wants to jack off, but he's also not lying

  • Commented Aug 8, 2020 00:55 by anonymous

    “I love the way people try to invalidate your memory's! You prolly were molested it's not uncommon! It doesn't have to be traumatizing though ! Turn the tables on your abuser tell him a flat out lie about someone he loves being raped or most abusers have multiple victims round them up and go beat the crap outa him ”

    Molestation happens, but isn't common. Repressed memories, though, never happens. There's not a single case of it that has been verified by scientific medical standards. It's entirely the domain of things like hypnotherapy, pop-psychology, feminist activism, alternative religion and sociology. It should be pretty obvious. After all, how stupid must you be, to believe that people forget things because they're massively important on a profoundly personal level? How long would a species survive, if that was one of it's brain features? If babies had a hard time learning not to touch fire, always forgetting the last time they burned themselves because it was so damn painful, the invention of fire would've been the end of human kind.

    If something feels very bad, physically or emotionally, we remember it better and recall it more often than other things. If something feels very good, the same applies, but not to the same extent.

  • Commented Aug 8, 2020 01:02 by anonymous

    Molestation is actually not all that rare, especially by mothers, who are almost never caught. What is rare is a complaining witness, for both of the reasons you might imagine, i.e., that some kids feel fine and that some kids feel scared.

  • Commented Oct 8, 2020 03:33 by anonymous

    Holy shit, everyone's advice is so bad it's impressive. It's extremely common for people who have been molested to not remember it until they are older and more capable of handling it, it's a defense mechanism the brain has developed. Same thing happened with me. What happened to you is real, I suggest you go to therapy like I did. It's extremely helpful. You can do whatever you want, you can forgive your abuser or tell them fuck off and die! You can make a police report or not. You get to respond to this however the hell you want to. Any one telling you to make a police report, ignore them and just do what you feel you should do. So many people say to do that yet they would never do it themselves if they were in your situation. It's rough and will probably turn up as nothing like with me. If you wanna talk just tell me and I'll give you my info to DM or text.

  • Commented Oct 8, 2020 03:49 by anonymous

    “Holy shit, everyone's advice is so bad it's impressive. It's extremely common for people who have been molested to not remember it until they are older and more capable of handling it, it's a defense mechanism the brain has developed. Same thing happened with me. What happened to you is real, I suggest you go to therapy like I did. It's extremely helpful. You can do whatever you want, you can forgive your abuser or tell them fuck off and die! You can make a police report or not. You get to respond to this however the hell you want to. Any one telling you to make a police report, ignore them and just do what you feel you should do. So many people say to do that yet they would never do it themselves if they were in your situation. It's rough and will probably turn up as nothing like with me. If you wanna talk just tell me and I'll give you my info to DM or text.”

    Holy cow, this thread is a disaster. Whoever wrote this response is the only one who is correct on this issue. Please ignore everything everyone else has written.
    If you haven't already sought counseling in order to help you deal with this, you should consider it. There may be support groups, physical and online that may be able to help too.
    Good luck.

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