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Husband's bruised self esteem (swinging)

Posted Nov 24, 2021 19:18 by anonymous
1320 views | 36 comments

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 19:34 by anonymous

    I've had performance anxiety before. One time I was probably around his age. I met an older couple. I consider myself to be a good kisser and I was kissing her and she had this obnoxious voice and her husband kept saying how how do you like it and she's like "it's all right." We both shared his wife. He was probably about the same size as me but I didn't find myself getting this hard as I could have been. She was a big let down in looks and personality. Having a new guy next to me wasn't exactly exciting either.

    I only did it once later. My lady had a marine that she had been with before me. We went to his place. He had a better body than me. About the same size dick but he had like a six pack or an eight pack. That was kind of intimidating. He opened the door nude which through cold water on me. My lady had sex with him both ways. She gave me head and it was better than usual. She always loved giving head but she wasn't the best I've had. By then I was 38. Best I got was a semi.

    in hindsight I wish I had just sat there and watched them go at it. Maybe after a while I would have gotten excited by watching her get excited. If women don't get excited, they're dry and they get chafed. If men don't get excited they're only 3 inches and soft as hell.

    What you had sounded more like an orgy than a swap. Normally a swap would be where the people might be in the same room but they have a distance between them, where the guy with the strange woman can focus on her.

    I would recommend that you try to bring another woman in. If he can't perform with two good looking ladies then I don't know what to tell you.

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 19:51 by anonymous

    “I've had performance anxiety before. One time I was probably around his age. I met an older couple. I consider myself to be a good kisser and I was kissing her and she had this obnoxious voice and her husband kept saying how how do you like it and she's like "it's all right." We both shared his wife. He was probably about the same size as me but I didn't find myself getting this hard as I could have been. She was a big let down in looks and personality. Having a new guy next to me wasn't exactly exciting either.

    I only did it once later. My lady had a marine that she had been with before me. We went to his place. He had a better body than me. About the same size dick but he had like a six pack or an eight pack. That was kind of intimidating. He opened the door nude which through cold water on me. My lady had sex with him both ways. She gave me head and it was better than usual. She always loved giving head but she wasn't the best I've had. By then I was 38. Best I got was a semi.

    in hindsight I wish I had just sat there and watched them go at it. Maybe after a while I would have gotten excited by watching her get excited. If women don't get excited, they're dry and they get chafed. If men don't get excited they're only 3 inches and soft as hell.

    What you had sounded more like an orgy than a swap. Normally a swap would be where the people might be in the same room but they have a distance between them, where the guy with the strange woman can focus on her.

    I would recommend that you try to bring another woman in. If he can't perform with two good looking ladies then I don't know what to tell you.”

    OP here. Thank you for your insights. Yes, it was more of an orgy with experienced swingers and we weren't, so that was part of it I think. I could take or leave this kind of thing, it doesn't really matter to me, but our friends are kind and we were curious and wanted to try it. I just love my husband and want him to feel good about himself, and if we ever consider something like this again we'll have to take it more slowly with just a couple swap. But I don't think we'll even do that, because this was bad for him (though I enjoyed the sex).

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 19:57 by anonymous

    “OP here. Thank you for your insights. Yes, it was more of an orgy with experienced swingers and we weren't, so that was part of it I think. I could take or leave this kind of thing, it doesn't really matter to me, but our friends are kind and we were curious and wanted to try it. I just love my husband and want him to feel good about himself, and if we ever consider something like this again we'll have to take it more slowly with just a couple swap. But I don't think we'll even do that, because this was bad for him (though I enjoyed the sex). ”

    How many guys were you with that night? Did they explore all of your holes?

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 19:59 by anonymous

    I don't know how guys in porn do it. I figured they must have a high opinion of themselves and their dicks. OP I I'm guessing that your husband isn't as big as those other men

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 20:01 by anonymous

    “How many guys were you with that night? Did they explore all of your holes?”

    I'm OP. I was with three, and no, not all holes--just vaginal and oral. All the girls got cream that night.

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 20:01 by anonymous

    I hax performance anxiety with prostitutes they want you hard right away.

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 20:07 by anonymous

    Fuck your husband's brains out and remind him that he's the greatest fuck ever. And don't try swinging again.

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 20:07 by anonymous

    “I'm OP. I was with three, and no, not all holes--just vaginal and oral. All the girls got cream that night. ”

    That's too bad. I love to explore. Have you been with a black man?

    KIK ty10brown

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 20:20 by anonymous

    “I don't know how guys in porn do it. I figured they must have a high opinion of themselves and their dicks. OP I I'm guessing that your husband isn't as big as those other men”

    OP here. This wasn't porn, just normal suburban people. My husband is normal size (maybe 6") and so were the other guys there.

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 20:24 by anonymous

    “OP here. This wasn't porn, just normal suburban people. My husband is normal size (maybe 6") and so were the other guys there. ”

    Well if he had 6" soft, he would have been hard, they would have been soft. It must have been hard to focus on your husband with those other guys inside you

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 20:27 by anonymous

    Sound like a wonderful caring person who cares about your husband! Boost his ego because you know how to do it better than anyone!

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 20:28 by anonymous

    If he is giving himself a hard time about this, that is the problem.

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 20:30 by anonymous

    “Well if he had 6" soft, he would have been hard, they would have been soft. It must have been hard to focus on your husband with those other guys inside you ”

    OP here. My husband gets 6" hard, as were the other guys. He's more like 4" soft. It was our first time swinging, so we checked in on each other. I could see him having trouble with another woman there (couldn't get hard to get it in her) but yes, the guys were taking turns on us and it was hard to focus on what was going on.

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 20:30 by anonymous

    “If he is giving himself a hard time about this, that is the problem.”

    Unfortunately, it's not a hard time

  • Commented Nov 24, 2021 22:59 by anonymous

    You need to bring another women into the house and give him a good time, make him feel like a king. Right now he feels like shit about himself and feels like he’s a point down on the score board. Sounds stupid but it’s true, his ego is destroyed and he won’t tell you that. You need to re-inflate his ego to pull him out of the dumps.

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 00:25 by anonymous

    Sounds like you are aware of his feelings, which is awesome. We girls can just spread our legs and take it, but it's hard for guys who might be nervous or having issues. Take care of him.

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 01:46 by anonymous

    If I was you, I'd definitely bring another woman in the mix, even if for a little while. Speak with one of your friend ladies you know and make sure he feel like the rooster of the flock. Speaking from experience here: I've had my wife shared once or twice, and the first time I lost erection seeing her penetrated by others, despite the fact that I had a gorgeous blonde sucking the life out of my cock. She saw I did not enjoy myself, and we went home. Three day later she brought the same blonde home and that weekend I was worshipped like I was the last man alive on earth. Next time we visited a swap, my battle flag was flying high and proud. I'm still with my wife 21 years later. She's a goddess!

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 01:48 by anonymous

    That Limp Dick Motherfucker!

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 06:15 by anonymous

    He needs to talk about it. If I were you, I'd make a joke about it or something. Say it was an attempt at stupid fun. No worries. You tried something that at least on his end didn't work, but if you make light of the situation maybe so will he. Just move on, and make it a playful joke.

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 06:30 by anonymous

    You let 3 guys fuck you, and was having orgasms, and he couldn't get it up. He is probably looking at you much different because he saw your akutty side. Not all.guys are ready to see their wives as cock hungry sluts it often shatters their image of a sweet and dedicated wife. You definitely need to let him a fuck a few girls in front of you to even the score.

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 11:55 by anonymous

    OP, maybe husband needed something to help him relax. Was there any smoke or wine available?

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 12:03 by anonymous

    Give him a hug, a nice meal and a blowjob.

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 12:09 by anonymous

    Reassure him he is Ok. It might be that he would be best served if you make him your Cuckold. let him watch you with other men in his bed, then make passionate love to him. He will learn to love it. Teach him to clean you up with his mouth and tongue after your men have filled you... make him suck them clean also. He will love you for it.

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 12:13 by anonymous

    Been there, done that and went back for seconds! It was same room swap! I had already came in his wife and was going quite soft. I stood beside the bed while he was nailing mine and playing with myself trying to get hard again. Oddly, I came again while playing with my completely soft “manhood”…. It totally let the wind out of my sails and I felt emasculated.

    We stopped the lifestyle and ended up separating a few years later.

    Now I’m with a woman who is in the lifestyle and has meaningful friendships from it. Getting to know those folks on a personal level drug me back.

    The HUGE difference now is that it’s not about the penetration and sex. It’s about the “playing” and atmosphere! Fortunately, I can go a couple of hours playing with on-off penetration. Make it an event rather than sex, IMHO

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 12:19 by anonymous

    “You need to bring another women into the house and give him a good time, make him feel like a king. Right now he feels like shit about himself and feels like he’s a point down on the score board. Sounds stupid but it’s true, his ego is destroyed and he won’t tell you that. You need to re-inflate his ego to pull him out of the dumps.”

    Re-inflate his ego. Nice word choice as she wants to Re-inflate his dick.

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 12:20 by anonymous

    Also, Make sure to have a “reclaim” session between just the two of you after get togethers like these.

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 12:31 by anonymous

    I am a 43 F who has been through this. We went to a party and my hub was so intimated by the other 4 guys there who were SO much bigger than him. Hub is about 4.5 and the other guys were all right at 9 and one dude almost 10. Look I did not know beforehand they were that big. And 1 guy was black and hub was intimated by how attracted I was to him. I absolutely got my brains fucked out and I admit I FUCKING LOVED the big dicks. OMG was I into it when that black dude put some awesome dick on my big 54 inch ass. Everybody was watching and they were kinds teasing hub in a good natured way. As was I and it was not meant to be mean spirited. Hub had performance issues and did not stay hard. He basically wound up watching me and the others fuck. After the party I knew hub was down about what happened to him. And yes I brought over a GF I knew he was hot for and let them fuck all night. This woman is a great gal and she is my girl. We prowl for young black together constantly. Anyways HELL YES it made hub feel better about himself and the whole lifestyle. So I wanna urge the OP who seems like a cool girl…baby get your hub some pussy and let him have some fun. And for me it was truly a bonus because this whole event really pushed us into the cuckold lifestyle. I admit I really really wanted to start fucking big dicks and in particular I wanted BLACK MEAT and this got us going in that direction and so yeah I reaped serious benefits by getting hub laid. I don’t wanna drag on too long but I do wish the OP and her man good luck and if she or others wanna hear about our fun or us in general let me know and I will try to share.

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 13:40 by anonymous

    You are fantastic. It's really the fear of failing. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Heal his ego. Nothing can help better than a woman like you. Once he feels better try it again. If you are both into sex you will like it and it really helps fighting the routine that often develops at home. Not really an issue after 2 yrs of marriage but still it starts creeping in you may not even notice.

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 13:53 by anonymous

    “OP here. Thank you for your insights. Yes, it was more of an orgy with experienced swingers and we weren't, so that was part of it I think. I could take or leave this kind of thing, it doesn't really matter to me, but our friends are kind and we were curious and wanted to try it. I just love my husband and want him to feel good about himself, and if we ever consider something like this again we'll have to take it more slowly with just a couple swap. But I don't think we'll even do that, because this was bad for him (though I enjoyed the sex). ”

    I remember my first experience. Being raised in fairly "normal" family my values were set quite mid stream. And when I came to a party we were supposed to swing at i remember how many emotions were coming through my mind. I don't think even though I was very much open to this idea but I did not enjoy it at all and I had some drinks but still did not put me in the proper state of mind. All this changed later and I think it's wonderful when 2 love each other yet enrich their sex life with some exciting experience.

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 14:01 by anonymous

    “If I was you, I'd definitely bring another woman in the mix, even if for a little while. Speak with one of your friend ladies you know and make sure he feel like the rooster of the flock. Speaking from experience here: I've had my wife shared once or twice, and the first time I lost erection seeing her penetrated by others, despite the fact that I had a gorgeous blonde sucking the life out of my cock. She saw I did not enjoy myself, and we went home. Three day later she brought the same blonde home and that weekend I was worshipped like I was the last man alive on earth. Next time we visited a swap, my battle flag was flying high and proud. I'm still with my wife 21 years later. She's a goddess!

    No, that's a wife to die for (in the bedroom filled with her friends. Lol)

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 14:37 by anonymous

    I did a lot of swinging in my 20's as a single male. Performance issues happen to EVERYONE. Men and women, but mostly men. For me, it wasn't about being intimidated by other guys with bigger dicks. It was being shy in front of strangers in a group setting. You get naked and fuck, and you feel like everyone is watching you, and it gets somewhat overwhelming. Let's face it, women don't have to "get it up" like men do, so swinging is a lot easier for them. My recommendation would be to start off slowly with another couple. Jumping into an orgy as beginners was probably a bad idea. Most swing parties will have private rooms so that people can pair off, or have a 3 way, or whatever you decide to do. The biggest thing with couples is trust and controlling jealousy issues. If you had swapped with just the other couple that hosted you, it probably would have gone a lot smoother. My suggestion is to do that with your friend couple and see where it goes. It takes time to ease into something like this. I would also suggest looking up swinging etiquette and decide what is right for you and your husband. Discuss fantasies, what turns you on, what you'd like to get out of a swinging experience. The key to success for a couple like yourself is COMMUNICATION. There's no such thing as talking about it too much. If anything, you should discuss it while you fuck. It will turn you both on. I hope this helps, and good luck to you both!

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 14:49 by anonymous

    Sometimes you have to put yourself in another frame of mind. I was the first one to reply to the post. My woman was okay with BJ's and better when the other guy was doing things with her. If I was with one of the girls who gave these incredible ones, I would imagine that they could have woken the Dead.

    She was rather upset that I didn't get excited. I basically knew why I didn't get excited. I was in a stranger's place, with a stranger. That certainly helped. He was in the military, I'm sure he was stronger than me. That didn't help. I am straight, if I was bi I probably would have been more excited by having this fit Marine near me. It probably would have been nice to have started slower. Have a few drinks first so maybe I would have felt more comfortable. I remember thinking before I got there that I hope I didn't have any performance issues.

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 20:40 by anonymous

    This happened to my husband too and it pretty much wrecked our marriage. He never came back from it. He was the one who wanted to try swinging/orgy and he begged and begged me for years. I reluctantly agreed one time and wound up having the best sex I've ever had. Hubby couldn't perform at all and was mad to watch me orgasm several times with other men, when it's so hard for him to give me an orgasm. Not my fault he's not that good in bed.

    He threw this in my face a lot, that I was a "slut" for others - when he was the one who begged me to do it - and I ended up leaving him. Having amazing sex with a much hotter guy now.

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 22:09 by anonymous

    When we first got marred, we lived in a small trailer on the river. It was all we could afford at the time, and we didn't mean to stay in the town we lived in. So it saved us money. One night we were at the bar and met a couple. We invited them to our house at closing time. I don't know how, but we ended up nude and dancing. I got hard, and she reached down and played with my dick. She leaned against the wall and stuck my dick in her pussy. She was tall enough we could pretend to dance a little. It was just light enough I could see the guy playing with my wife's tits, but the light didn't go low enough to see if he had his hand on her pussy. I knew they were not fucking. She was too short, and he was taller than I. I took his wife to the bed and fucked her from the side. Her husband came in and said, ainn't nobody fucking my wife. I was laying on my side and told him we were just tired of dancing and were talking. My dick was still in her. I said, have a beer, and we will be right out as soon as I answer her question. I finished fucking her. They left. I asked my wife why he came in saying that. She said, he tried to fuck me and I said no. He asked where you two were, and I told him probably fucking. He was mad because his wife was getting fucked, and I said no. Never saw them in the bar again. No great loss, she was just a strange pussy. I told my wife, she was so loose, I liked my hand better. I lied, she wasn't bad pussy, Just not close to as good as my wife.
    We are not swingers, it was just a weird, unexpected night...

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 22:11 by anonymous

    “When we first got marred, we lived in a small trailer on the river. It was all we could afford at the time, and we didn't mean to stay in the town we lived in. So it saved us money. One night we were at the bar and met a couple. We invited them to our house at closing time. I don't know how, but we ended up nude and dancing. I got hard, and she reached down and played with my dick. She leaned against the wall and stuck my dick in her pussy. She was tall enough we could pretend to dance a little. It was just light enough I could see the guy playing with my wife's tits, but the light didn't go low enough to see if he had his hand on her pussy. I knew they were not fucking. She was too short, and he was taller than I. I took his wife to the bed and fucked her from the side. Her husband came in and said, ainn't nobody fucking my wife. I was laying on my side and told him we were just tired of dancing and were talking. My dick was still in her. I said, have a beer, and we will be right out as soon as I answer her question. I finished fucking her. They left. I asked my wife why he came in saying that. She said, he tried to fuck me and I said no. He asked where you two were, and I told him probably fucking. He was mad because his wife was getting fucked, and I said no. Never saw them in the bar again. No great loss, she was just a strange pussy. I told my wife, she was so loose, I liked my hand better. I lied, she wasn't bad pussy, Just not close to as good as my wife.
    We are not swingers, it was just a weird, unexpected night...”

    PS She said I was a lot bigger than her husband. So I guess she got the best of the night.

  • Commented Nov 25, 2021 22:47 by anonymous

    Any time I've tried something new and as different as swinging I can't get/stay hard but only the first time. Haven't swung so that I would go into knowing I may have problems. Believe he will be fine if the chance arises soon.

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