im hoping that writing this will finally ease my mind... sorry, im just ranting at this point.
almost a year ago i broke up with my ex, and today is one of those days that i regret it. i’ve been back home for the summer for a few weeks now, after finishing my first year at college, but tonight was the first time i went back to my high school. i felt a wave of sadness, since i spent my entire senior year (last year) with him and everything in my hometown reminds me of him. i think about him so often, even at school, and i don’t know whether it’s because i haven’t moved on yet or if i believe our relationship could be salvaged at some point in the future. we were off and on in the beginning of my freshman year at college, since we go to the same school, but i didn’t know what i wanted and then he moved on and got a new girlfriend. on top of feeling guilty about breaking up with him and causing him so much pain, i feel like i’ve lost a lot of my high school friends and i miss the way things were. i know i have a bright future ahead of myself, but i can’t shake this guilt and sadness that i feel every time i come home and i don’t know what to do anymore. i just feel like a lot of my old relationships have fallen apart because of my wrongdoings and i don’t know how to fix them