One of my close friends died on the operating table. His heart stopped for a long time... long enough that his brain didn’t receive the oxygen that it would need to function normally once he was (by some divine grace) revived.
After about seven long months of rehab he was taken completely off morphine and dispatched from the hospital to live with his parents. He now has access to his phone and Internet pages, but his brain is severely damaged and he’ll never be the same. His short term memory is non existent, he can’t really walk or speak. He is mentally disabled now, it’s completely devastating. While he was in the hospital we (his friends and loved ones) were told he would die, and in a way he did.
Since getting his phone back he occasionally texts me and his other platonic friends these pleas for sexual contact, now having no filter. He confessed, once he regained vocal autonomy, that he had never been with a woman, and wondered “what woman would want him now.” Heartbreaking as this certainly is, there were times before the accident that I had inferred this about him. He had one girlfriend in college who I knew of but never met. I once learned that she may have dropped out of school after an incident with him... I think he was using her hand to masturbate while she had been sleeping. Once while he and I were sharing a room (but not a bed) I stirred awake and noticed him masturbating while looking at me dead on.
This was years ago, for what it’s worth. I was a child— 22, and there was no movement for victims really, and he was my dear friend. So I pretended it didn’t happen. For years and to this day.
Once he was hospitalized (his accident took place just before the #metoo movement) I began to consider this incident a lot. It was something that would always deeply disturb me about this friend of mine, but I didn’t fully realize this until being confronted with the possibility of his tragic and untimely death. For much of his hospitalization it seemed like he might not survive, and the fact of the matter is: he was one of my favorite people in spite of this incident, but having no closure on the incident, it was suddenly rearing its ugly head.
Anyway, since leaving the hospital and moving back in with his parents he now sends texts to me and some of our mutual friends asking for nudes and asking to fuck. These friends, to my knowledge, never experienced predatory behavior from him before the accident, so they blame it on his brain having no short term and no filter, but I know that perhaps he is just saying in words what he was intending to say through friendship all along: I just wanna get off.